Behind the Steering Wheel.

And at that moment, there was this silence.

The silence that overpowered the music that's playing inside the van. The silence that made my ears pause from its audibility that even the hum of a revved-up engine became unnoticeable. The silence that made my friends nap for a while that morning to endure the almost 89-kilometer part of that roadtrip.

And what fascinates me at the same time is, I try to see myself to observe what I'm doing at that particular moment and the thoughts that occupied my mind (as if I became separated from my body and watched myself from a close distance).

It was a silence that made my inmost being to be quiet, not because I wanted to, but was given, taken for I am expecting that I can get something in that state of reticence. And my expectation made an avenue for its manifestation.

I became speechless.

As my eyes have acknowledged its focus from the road that I'm looking at to the skies that I see above and the luscious green fields that I see in the side. My eyes have recognized a scene which turned out to be a picture in me. It was a picture that speaks of the reality that I realized that I must enter in this season of my life. A picture that speaks of the vastness of opportunities this life can offer. A picture that also expresses the wideness of thoughts that God has prepared for me. A scene that also tells that the road is laid out for me. A picture that conveys a message.

That the great things that I will be experiencing in this life are not behind of me but are in front of me.

And from that picture, it stirred up an affirmation inside of me.



I will press on.
Not only for the sake of just moving along but also for
the purpose of living this life for a greater cause that in
its extravagance had made me pause.
That is to know even better the Great Person behind
why the things that I've seen at that scene were created.

I have a long way to go. Yes.
But the fact that I am running on the right way and guided
by the right directions makes me assured that I am moving
forward towards my destination.

I will enjoy the journey.
Not only to fight the boredom that it inevitably brings but
because of the awareness that every moment in every travel
is meaningful and significant. Therefore, I don't have to be in a hurry.

I will never lose sight of what's in front of me.
Not only for the sake of its necessity but for the reason of destiny
which has been arranged beforehand and therefore I must align
myself and see myself going towards that direction and never
get off-tracked.

I will take this trip wisely. Not recklessly.
For it will not only save up my time and energy but protect me
as well from any move that can put me into jeopardy and end up
like that car accident that I saw as we are pacing along the way.

Oh, let Your presence go with me.
For it will be the sustenance of my soul to continually walk in
this demanding standards of life.
For there will be times that I have to maneuver it alone and
you will be my strength to withstand that I may neither slumber
nor sleep.
Not by my might, nor by my power, but by Your Spirit.
I will never be alone knowing that you will always be at my side.

I wish I've captured the scene that I saw with the camera that I borrowed but opportunity didn't gave me a chance. I guess it was destined to be so, for it is good for now that it will just be printed first in the deepest thoughts of my memory.

Who knows? Maybe someone can make that invisible image become a visible picture for me someday. Well, I entrust that to the fate that has this trip that's more powerful than me.

I personally enjoyed the privilege to drive the vehicle that day.

(Because I enjoyed a whole day sleep after that as I went back home).

It was an honor to sit in the front especially at the driver's seat. A humble seat which paved the way to see in advance the beauty of life that's waiting for me as it is revealed by the Maker of that beautiful scene that I saw.

As we are nearly approaching to the exit point, I saw the toll gate ahead. The van started to decelerate as I relieved my feet from tapping on the accelerator pedal. I have recognized the fact why doing it was necessary.

I have to pay.

And as I've shifted the gear knob from 5th gear to neutral and slowly tapped on the brakes,

the moment of silence quickly disappeared.

"Magkaiba Talaga."

Ang lahat ng bagay ay may dahilan. At masasabi kong ang usapang naganap nang araw na iyon at ang mga bagay na kanyang ibinahagi* ay nangyari para bigyang dahilan na makapagsulat akong muli. At sa kagustuhan kong maiparating ito sa pinaka-simple at (hangga't maari'y) pinaka-malinaw na paraan, papatunayan muli ng perspektibong ito ang di mapapasubalingang katotohanan ng kasabihang ito na iaangkop ko sa Salita ng Diyos. At iiwan ko na sa mga mambabasa kung naisakatuparan ko ba ang layuning ito o hindi.

Pag sinabing tinitignan, nagpapahiwatig ito ng mabilis na pagtingin, pagsulyap, o pagtanaw. At nagaganap ito ng mabilisan, anu't ano pa man ang dahilan, upang mabigyan ng panandaliang kasagutan ang mga katanungan ng sitwasyong kinabibilangan sa ating isipan.

Sa aking pag-aanalisa, nauuwi sa dalawang dahilan kung bakit ginagawa natin ito (sadya man o hindi namamalayan). Ito'y upang malaman ang katiyakan ng isang bagay at upang mamalayan natin ang mga bagay at buhay (partikular sa tao) na may kaugnayan sa atin. Ang anumang tinitignan ng ating pisikal na mata ay pinoproseso ng ating isipan na siyang umuukit ng ating mga nauunanawaan.

Ang buhay nating ito ay punung-puno ng istorya (at hangga't nabubuhay ay madadagdagan pa) at hindi iyon nabuo (at mabubuo) nang hindi natin sinusubukan munang tignan ito, mapasimple man o mapaseryoso.

Ang mundong ito ay sanay na sa pagpapakita ng mga bagay na nais lamang nitong ating tignan. At dahil dito'y nagsisimulang lumitaw ang mga bagay na kumukumbinse sa ating mga saloobin. Ang kaaway ay mas malala pa. 

HIgit pa sa anggulong panlilinlang, kung susuriin pa natin ng maigi ang nangyari sa lumang tipan**, matapos ang usapan sa pagitan ni Eba at ng ahas tungkol sa bunga ng punungkahoy na ipinagbabawal kainin ng Diyos sa kanila ni Adan, nakumbinse ng ahas na matignan pa din ni Eba ang punungkahoy. Hanggang hindi na niya namalayan, siya'y unti-unting nabulid sa bunga na kanyang tinitignan (dahil lumitaw itong maganda sa kanyang paningin at nabuo sa isipan niya na mas mabuti ang maging marunong). At naisakatuparan ang isang tusong layunin. 

Sa maikling panahon, dahil hinayaan ni Eba na maimpluwensiyahan siya ng kanyang tinitignan, naalis sa kanyang paningin ang ipinagbibilin sa kanila ng Diyos, naibaling ang paningin ni Eba sa mga bagay na kanyang matatamo at makukuha para sa sarili. Na nagpalimot din sa kanya na siya'y nilikha na kawangis at kalarawan ng Diyos.

At ginagawa niya pa din ito hanggang ngayon. Ito ang kanyang panimulang atake bago siya makapanlinlang.

Ito ay ang maalis ang ating paningin sa Diyos at ibaling ang ating mga mata na tignan ang ating mga sarili (paniwalain ka sa mga bagay na nakikita ng iyong mata at maituon sa mga bagay na hindi maganda), sa ating mga kahinaan, kakulangan, pagkakamali o pagkakasala. Dahilan upang tayo'y mag-alala, matakot humakbang, magdalawang-isip o mamroblema.

O kaya, sa ating lakas, abilidad, talento, estado, tagumpay, kaalawanan, kahusayan, katalinuhan na kapag di namalayan ay manangan na sa sarili at magsarili. 

Alin man sa dalawang ito ang mapagbalingan, parehas silang nag-uudyok sa tao na bumuo ng mga pananaw na nakabase sa kanilang nakita sa maikling panahon lang.

Ang iyong kahinaan o kalakasan sa buhay ay nararapat lang tignan. Ang kalaban ay matagal nang talunan. Nasa iyo ang desisyon kung paano mo ito titignan. Tignan upang bigyan ka na lamang ng kamalayan at hindi iyong maging batayan upang limitahan o hayaan ang iyong sarili sa mga nais gawin. Pero ito ang ang magpapakita sa iyo  ng mga bagay na dapat mong ayusin, magpabatid sa iyo ng mga bagay na dapat mong ipagapasalamat at pagbutihin pa, o magpahanda sa iyo sa mga bagay na kinakailangan mong panindigan.

Isalamapak natin sa tunay na buhay.

Ang mga bagay na ating tinitignan ay maaring makaimpluwensiya sa ating mga pangarap, layunin, ambisyon, desisyon, at kapalaran.

At hindi patas lumaro ang mundong ito. Kung ganun ang labanan, saan mo itutuon ang iyong mga mata para makahugot ka ng lakas, tibay ng loob para di ka matinag, at pag-asa para ituloy ang buhay?

Mabuti na lang at kahit sa kabila ng lahat ng mga ito, mayroon tayong pwedeng pagtuunan ng ating paningin kahit ano pa man ang ating nakikita.

Kapag sinabing tinititigan, nagpapahiwatig ito ng buong atensyon ng ating paningin. At ginaganap ito ng matagalan, anuman ang maging dahilan, upang mai-rehistro sa isipan ang mga bagay na nais maalala ng pangmatagalan. At hindi ito biglaang nakakalimutan. At kapag nakasanayan, ito'y nagpapanatili at nag-iiwan ng alaalang nakalapat sa ating kamalayan magpakailanman.

Ang anumang tinititigan ng ating paningin ay nagpapalabo sa mga bagay na hindi pansin ng mata (na pinaghalawan ng "pokus" sa kamera) at higit na binibigyan ng importansiya. Ito'y higit na pumapanhik sa kaibuturan ng kaluluwa sapagkat inuunawa iyon ng isipan na iyon ay mahalaga.

Ang pagtitig sa anumang bagay ay ginagawa dahil ito'y ginusto at hindi ipinagpipilitan, ni iniuutos ng sinuman. Hindi mapupukaw ang mata ng mga bagay na lingid sa tinititigan nito dahil ang desisyong ipinasiya sa isipan ang nagtutulak sa buong diwa na tumatanggap ng mga impormasyong nasasagap ng mata ay nakatuon din ng husto dito.

Sinasabi sa Bibliya na "Ituon natin ang mga mata kay Jesus na siyang nagpasimula ay nagpapaging-ganap ng ating pananampalataya."*** Ang "pagtuon" sa kontekstong ito ay maari din nating ipakahulugan bilang "pagtitig" sa kanya.

Pamilyar na tayo sa mga bagay na ating kinamulatan at parating tinitignan sa ating paligid. Ang buong sangkatauhan ay naghahanap ng maaari nilang pagtuunan ng paningin upang maiba sa kadalasang nilang nakikita, lalo na kung ang kanilang tintignan ay paulit-ulit, di kaaya-aya, nagbabago, nakakapagod, o nakakasawa. Ngayon, saan natin maibabaling ang ating paningin para mabigyang kasagutan ang ating mga katanungan, magbigay kaligayahan sa ating kabalisahan, kasapatan sa ating kakulangan, kapakumbabaan sa ating kataasan, katwiran sa ating mga kalikuan?



Buti na lang at may solusyon. (#thankyouLord!) :)

Hindi mawawalan ng kulay at kahulugan ang buhay na ito kung parati tayong nakatuon kay Kristo. Siya lamang kasi ang makapagbubuo ng ating kakulangan. Ang makapagbabago ng ating buhay. Ang makapagtatagpo ng ating pangangailangan. Ang makapagpapaganap ng ating mga kagustuhan (na nakapaloob sa kalooban ng Diyos). Ang makapagbabalik ng mga bagay na nawala. Ang makakapagpababa ng anumang bagay na mataas. Siya lamang kasi ang pwede nating maging inspirasyon para magampanan natin ng matiwasay ang karerang nakalaan sa atin. Dahil ito'y kanya ring ginawa, at tinapos niya ito ng matiwasay sa krus. Sa kanya natin maaring ituon ang ating paningin. At kung may kumuwestiyon dito, may iba pa kayang makahihigit maliban sa kanya? Ewan ko lang.

Kung kaya't ang patuloy na pagtitig natin sa kanya'y nagbibigay dahilan para lubusan pa nating maunawaan kung ano ang kanyang katayuan sa atin at ano ang ating katayuan sa kanya. Habang patuloy ang pagtitig, lalo pa tayong titindig.

Dahilan upang hindi na tayo maimpluwesiyahan ng mga bagay na ating tinitignan, maging problema man ito o sirkumstansya, o kaya ang ating mga sarili.

Pero kadalasan, (ako aminado minsan) natititigan ng marami ang kakulangan ng kanilang sarili at tinitignan na lang ang Diyos. Hindi dapat maging ganoon. Mas masaya ang buhay kung parati nating tinititigan ang Diyos at tintignan na lang natin ang ating mga sarili. Kasi habang tayo'y nakatuon sa kanya, hindi mo siya pagsasawaan, at habang tumatagal ay may mga bagong bagay kang nalalaman at mauunawaan sa kanya.

Habang tayo'y nabubuhay, itakda na natin sa ating mga sarili ang nararapat nating tignan at dapat nating titigan. Bakit? 

Dahil marami pang pupukaw ng ating paningin sa buhay na ito at kinakailangan nating maging matatag sa buhay na ito. At sana'y hindi ang anumang ating tinitignan sa mundong ito kalaunan ay siya nang ating tinititigan.

Bilang pagtatapos, ang perspektibong ito ang siyang nagpaalala sa akin kung saan ko dapat ituon ang aking paningin sa buhay na ito. Dahil alam ko na kapag ito'y aking ginawa, hinding-hindi ko ito pagsisisihan.

Napakaraming mga bagay sa mundong ito ang maaari, posible, at pwede nating tignan. Pero kung titigan ang labanan, maigi nang alam na natin kung kanino ito dapat ilalaan.

Sa kanya lamang natin malalaman ang kasagutan, ang ating halaga, saysay at kabuluhan. At iyon ang makapagbibigay pag-asa sa atin upang tayo ay magpatuloy, magpakatatag, umangat, at magtagumpay. Pero para mapununan parati ang pag-asang iyon, kailangan mo Siyang titigan, wag mo lang tignan.

Marahil, nagkakaroon na kayo ng ideya kung ano ang kasabihang ipapahiwatig ko dito. Ang dalawang bagay na ito ay ginagamitan ng paningin pero kung ano, kanino, at paano mo ito gagamitin ang magtatakda ng mga bagay, hangarin at pag-asang iyong kakailanganin sa buhay pa na ating kakaharapin.

Ayan. Dalangin ko na ito'y maikunsidera niyo ito sa inyong pang-araw-araw na buhay. Mahaba pa ang ating lalakbayin. At marahil, magandang panahon ito upang mapagtuunan na ito ng pansin upang magamit natin ng tama ang ating paningin.

At kapag isinabuhay, dun mo lubos na mapapatunayan na magkaiba talaga..

ang tinitignan sa tintitigan. :)

-------

*ang usapang iyon ay naganap nung Biyernes ng umaga nang si kuya Leo, ako, at si kuya Daryl ang natira sa lugar na aming pinagkakakinan sa nakaraang outing ng Crossover-Youth volunteers retreat sa Camp Benjamin, Alfonso, Cavite. 

[kuya Leo, I give to you the credits]

**Genesis 3:1-6.

***Hebreo 12:2.

"Boxing Finished in 68 Words."

No one is exempted. We're just facing life in different approaches yet we're similarly aware about experiencing troubles, trials, and problems in life. 

Problems are a part of our lives. It's impossible to live without them. Yet we can handle it because it doesn't affect us much and/or we have the ability to make it solved immediately.

We all have it. It just differs in the scope, extent, and degree. And we choose not to be affected by it so that we can still make our lives moving.

If I were to tell you the details of what had just happened to me recently for the past few weeks, probably you would say, "Really?" "It looks like you do things as if nothing seriously happened to you."

Actually, yes. There is. I have just encountered a lot of them lately. And they are not the easy ones that I always meet. I'm not telling these so I can get special attention from people. Those who know me deeply can prove that. :)

But I will not go to the direction of telling all those that I had and have for you have your own too, and it will just digress me to my objective why this thing is created.

Don't worry, my friends. All is well. The enemy and the circumstances may try to knock me down but they cannot knock me out. The fact that I know that greater struggle results a greater reward, I am more determined not to throw in the towel. The punches that have been thrown against may have staggered us yet we chose not to give up the fight. We know the end of the story from the beginning. And it spells victory.

As I was composing this, we've just resolved another situation that concerned my dad which (thank God) was settled immediately but it left a pecuniary damage to us.

Looking at the events that had transpired lately aside from that one, my mind still looks for justification.

But my dad and I can't help but to shake our heads and smile about it and say to ourselves, "There's a great blessing that's coming on our way, good things that are coming as well. The enemy may have given his best blow, but he cannot make us surrender."

I take those incidents as if there's someone behind it and has made it intentional. The attacks that he (the adversary) made was so desperate that he may distract me and make my eyes focused on those immediate circumstances that had been inflicted towards us, be clouded on the good things that are coming on my way.

God is good, all the time. And all the time, He is good. He can never be bad. Nothing bad comes from Him. And we're just standing on that simple yet irrevocable truth. Which makes us still composed and still, smiling.

The circumstances that we have faced lately are really serious as others can think, but it only gives us an implication that those are just attacks from the enemy. These situations have quite struck us and it really challenged us, and I myself personally.

We can live without worry, fear, and anxiety, knowing that we have someone in whom we can entrust our lives that holds everything and will give us a security that never fades.

Yet when unprecedented situations surprises you, circumstances will just arise and strike you hard, and it will be different than what you've encountered before, shake you like you've never felt before, and making you feel helpless.

I just want to encourage you that when you are experiencing hard times in life (gleaning from my recent personal experience), and you suffered because you've done right, even if you are right, or you suffered because someone has taken advantage of you and you've lost something, if all unexpected situations have sprouted against you and now you're in the brink of surrendering, don't give up. No, please. For your goodness sake and for the benefit of mankind!

Never loose sight of the good things that is in you and let that dire circumstance steal the hope on what you expect to manifest in your life. Never drift your focus to our God who's always for our good and sees the desires of our hearts.

For what and in whom we believe in our lives is greater than what we see with our eyes.

For what we are seeing and expecting on what's coming ahead is really far more better than what we're presently seeing now.

We are reminded by His Spirit that these hard times are just temporal and can be used as well to refine us, and it will produce good things out of us. And the abstract things that God has placed in our hearts and lives will remain in us forever.

Which the enemy and the circumstances may try to remove it from us but its just that it can never be rooted out, how desperate they may seem to do it, because it has been rooted deeply in us through the years.

I will not prolong this further. And let this point bring an encouragement to everyone who's also experiencing a hard time out there yet still chooses to continue to walk uprightly even if their circumstances have made their world upside down. It only just signifies that you are in the closest spot to your good things that God has prepared for you. It's already there. Still expect for the best. Just keep standing.

Get ready.

While I was meditating a particular chapter in Romans, a certain verse caught my attention which I took the time as well to look for its other version from NKJV. And this, really popped the bad bubble in my head.

And here it is. It says,

"That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment in to the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, joyful anticipation happens."*

Now, it's up to you how you'll gonna interpret it. Let the Spirit of God blow your mind as he reveals to you the insight behind it and stir hope in your life.





Now I understand the reason why.

That removes the frustration.

That completes the explanation.
That defines the expectation.

And that, in my mind, makes the boxing finished.


--------

*Romans 8:18-21 (The Message Version).

[Taking this on a personal note, the things that we suffered at this present time are nothing compared to the good things that are coming to us. And this is not prophesying about myself. Actually, it's there already. Time will be my friend to make this things become unfolded at the right time and let God be glorified in me. When I grow old, this will serve as a reminder for me that at this particular point of time where we experience this crucial moment in our lives, God has demonstrated His power in us, He moved in our lives, and thus, we overcome.]

"A Lesson Hardly Learned."

That was a lesson hardly learned.
I lacked sharp discernment.

It was a mistake that really broke my world. Even my birthday essay became affected because of what had happened.

"Lord, forgive me for I trusted too fast.
I felt like I was really betrayed. A first encounter yet the way of betraying was done happened again for a second time around. Yet forgive them more for they know what they are doing and the consequences of their acts will never left unpunished by You. You said vengeance is Yours, You will make them repay.

I give it all unto you. I entrust it all unto You.  All my worries, fears, and anxieties that really made me almost paralyzed. I will be more wiser than I've ever been before. And to the person whom I've inflicted so much damages, thank You for giving Him the understanding that cares. No words can amount how I feel so sorry about it. You may bless Him more, you would fill what was lost and restore what has been stolen.

And to me. Lord.
Help me to overcome this situation. I need your strength to be strong in this crucial, difficult times. I don't really know what do I have to do but I will just fix my eyes on You. I know that you are giving perfect peace to whose mind is stayed on You. Help me to start over again. Help me to regain what was lost. Help me to forgive myself. Help me to endure the pain and the consequences. Help me to fight and never lose sight of You. That I may be worthy again for your righteous cause.

I will just hope for your good things that you have prepared for me. I will just wait for the blessing to replace whatever that was lost. I know that there's something that's coming bigger and greater, even though I don't understand it, even though my mind can't fully comprehend it, I know you have a reason behind it. I will just hold on to your word. This will be an opportunity to see the demonstration of your goodness in my life like what you're doing unto me back then when circumstances and trials are going through my way.

Thank you that I am relieved by You. I ask that let your Spirit grant unto me the ability to discern things carefully that I will be protected and by Your wisdom that will give me light in everything that I will do. We may be afflicted yet You will deliver us from it all."

For now, it just a matter of rebuilding my world that was really shattered into pieces.

There's just only one thing that was taught to me and made me to be alert again.
And it awakened something inside of me.

But I can't remove the question as to why did it happened.
Then, by analyzing, I found the answer.

It all goes back to this reason.

I really lacked sharp discernment. That was an experience I will never forget. That experience had taught me something.

But sadly, that was a lesson hardly learned. :(

"Because Of Perfect Love."

Verse:

What can I do for You?

What can I bring to You?

What kind of song would You like me to sing?

‘cause I’ll dance a dance for You

Pour out my love to You

What can I do for You Beautiful King?

What can I do for You?

What can I bring to You?

What kind of song would You like me to sing?

‘cause I’ll dance a dance for You

Pour out my love for You..

Yeah..

(Lord, what do You want me to do for You? I want to serve you in the best way I know. I want to serve you in the most pleasing, most perfect, most acceptable yet humble way that I know. I don’t have it all but there are some things that I have that can be useful in serving you. Let my service for you suffice your need. Say it and I’ll do it wholeheartedly.)

Chorus:

‘Cause I can’t thank You enough

‘Cause I can’t thank You enough

(That’s the best thing I know how to respond to your goodness glorifying you with every simple things that I do.)

Verse:

What can I do for You?

What can I bring to You?

What kind of song would You like me to sing?

I’ll dance a dance for You

Pour out my love for You

What can I do for You Beautiful King?

What can I do for You?

What can I bring to You?

What kind of song would You like me to sing?

‘cause I’ll dance a dance for You

Pour out my love for You..

Yeah..

(Lord, what do You want me to do for You? My life is nothing compared to the good things that you have given, and you’ll be giving more to me, and the things that I do is not enough to compensate for your faithfulness.

You are a silent witness of every event that has been transpired in my life and You’ve proved it that it has reflected my utmost sincerity to follow You and your will and now, still, I utilize the talents you have given me to your kingdom and the beneficial wisdom to use it in every ventures that I know by being a servant to others.

You are worthy to be honoured in my life. How can I pay back to You?)

Chorus:

‘Cause I can’t thank You enough

(Ooh)

But I can’t thank You enough

(All of the words that I tried)

But I can’t thank You enough

(I pour out, I pour out my life)

But I can’t thank You enough

(My Lord, words fail to prove how I’m thankful to you. They are not enough to express how grateful I am.  I want to show my gratitude by doing something for you, something that can satisfy you.)

Cause you’re wonderful.. Yeah

And you’re good to me

You are wonderful

You are good, You are good

You are faithful, You are faithful

You’re never changing

And you’re always so good

Bridge:

And I hear you say

I hear You say..

“You don’t have to do a thing

Simply be with me

And let those things go

They can wait another minute

Wait, this moment is too sweet

Please stay here with me

And love on me a little longer..”

(I’m okay. Don’t be so worried about how you’ll please me and do it by the things that you’re doing. I know that it is just a response that you know you can do. I am well pleased with you. I will never love you more just because you do things all out for me and I will never love you less for you have missed the mark. My love for you is perfect. It will never change.)

And I hear You say..

“You don’t have to do a thing

Simply be with me

And let those things go

They can wait another minute

Wait, wait, just this moment

Is too sweet

Please stay here with me

And love on me a little longer..”

(I want you to realize that I am more concerned about how you sincerely talk to me, how you intimately respond to me, how do you stay with me personally, how do you depend on me uncompromisingly, and how you fully pour out your heart to me. That’s what I long for.)

(I want you to fix your thoughts on me. Don’t be pre-occupied with those things. I want you and only you. I want to embrace you with my arms, sit on my lap, and spend that sweet moment between you and me. I’ll take care of you and your burdens. You can count on me. Why? Only because, I’m crazily in love with you.)

‘Cause I’m in love with You

‘Cause I’m in love with You

‘Cause I’m in love with You

Oh how my heart it burns with You

Ooh, ooh, ooh,

Ooh, ooh ooh

How my heart burns for You.

(Let my love consume you and fill you, let my perfect love satisfy your wants and fill your lacks.)

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Jesus, my heart it burns for You

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Jesus, my heart it burns for You

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

(Oh, Lord. I desire for more of you. I will long for your presence. I will always come to you without hesitation or reservation. Let you alone satisfy my expectation.)

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

How my heart burns for You

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

(My heart longs for you. And in that longing, you have directed me to go back to where I’ve started and what I simply do to you which had pleased you all these years.)

So I’ll wait here at your feet, ooh..

So I’ll wait here at your feet

It’s where I want to be

Your voice I follow

Jesus, You are everything to me

And I pour out my life

Worship at Your feet

Love on You a little longer

Cause I’m in love with You

(Lord, thank you for reminding me. I will choose to be calm as I look up to you without thinking anything. Let that moment be a time of rest, completeness, and serenity. An intimacy that surpasses my reality, a place where your voice will be the only one I will clearly and gently hear.  Where you lead me, I will follow. My life is only yours and I know that you are mine.

So out of my love, I will lay down my whole life in honouring and submitting my life to you, spending my days always considering what you want me to do, and I can only know and do that by taking more time in seeking You, knowing You, and even more, worshipping You. From there, you will guide me, direct me and lead me in the way everlasting.)

I’m in love with You.

(Thank you for loving me, my Lord.

And as a response, I will love you back.)

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This song is titled, "A Little Longer" by Jenn Johnson & Bethel Music.
A response from the song "Unstoppable Love" by Jesus Culture feat. Kim Walker-Smith

Mga Tanong. The Questions.

Bakit mo mahal (hilig) ang pagsusulat?

Sa totoo lang, di ko mahal ang pagsusulat, pero may hilig akong gawin ito. Naunawaan ko na ang pagsusulat ko pala'y isang ekstensyon ng aking pagkatao na kung saan ang mga bawat ideya't kaisipang ibinabahagi ko'y nangungusap sa diwa ng bawat indibidwal at tiyakang sumasalamin sa karunungang ipinapahayag ng buhay at realidad na aking kinamulata't kinabibilangan na maaring makapagbigay ng paalala, instruksyon, kaliwanagan at inspirasyon sa iba.

Naisasakatuparan ng aking pagsulat ang layunin kong ibahagi ang mga bagay na natuklasan ko sa buhay na ito at basagin ang ignoransiyang bumubulag sa mata ng nakararami. Isang beses lang akong mabubuhay at habang nabubuhay ay gumagawa ng sariling kasaysayan. Gusto ko pagdating ng panahon, kahit lumisan ako, meron akong iiwang yaman. Buti na lang, sinagot ng pagsusulat ang aking kagustuhan. Ito'y nagsisilbing tagapagtala din ng aking mga karanasan na tumatalakay sa mga pinagdaanan ko't napagtanto, mga pinagbulay-bulayang kaisipan na puro abstrak na nagiging buháy kapag isinulat na't isinisipi ko sa aking blog na parang isang libro. At gaya ng isang libro, ako'y kanilang mapagkukunan ng kaisipang may katuturan patungkol sa buhay na ito.

Bakit mo mahal (nakahiligan) ang pagmamaneho?

Simple lang. Ayoko magsayang ng oras. Nakakawili kasing mag-drayb at sumama sa pasada. At least naiuukol ko yung oras ko sa isang bagay na kapaki-pakinabang at isa na nga riyan ay ang pagmamaneho. Lumilibot ka na, kumikita ka pa. Isipin mo kung hindi ko natutunang magmaneho, marahil isa ako sa mga tambay ng computer shop na naglalaro ng counter strike, Dota o kung anumang computer games o kaya kain tulog ako sa bahay o marahil ay sa sobrang talino e baka mabaliw ako sa kakabasa ng napakaraming libro sa bahay. Mahirap maging parang isang maliit na batong nakalutang sa kawalan. Pinagtapos ako sa kolehiyo ng gawaing ito. Dito ko dati kinukuha yung baon ko pang-araw-araw. 

Maituturing man itong kalabisan pero kapag nasa manibela na ako't sinimulan ko na ang pagda-drayb, nakakalimutan ko yung mga iniisip ko panandalian kasi nakatuon na ang diwa ko sa pagmamaneho. Sa isang banda naman, kaya nanatili ako sa larangang ito ay dahil nabibigyan ako ng oportunidad na makapaglingkod. Isipin mo, labing-anim na tao ang umaasa sayo'ng maihahatid mo sila sa kanilang destinasyon, kung umaga man, sa kanilang mga papasukang trabaho, at kung gabi ay sa kanilang mga uuwian. Ang maihatid ko ng matiwasay at maingat ang mga pasaherong ipinagmamaneho ko ay fulfilling na para sa akin. Dito ko natatagpuan ang aking kasiyahan na magawa ang tungkuling dapat kong gampanan bilang isang drayber.

Anong nararamdaman mo kapag ginagawa mo mga to?

Sa pagsusulat, nararamdaman kong kapag may ideya ako na dapat maibahagi sa iba na nasa isip ko pa lang, di na ako mapakali, agad-agad akong gagawa ng isang sanaysay, at kapag nabuo ko na ay nagiging payapa ako. At pakiramdam ko'y nalilinang ko na din ang aking sarili. Kapag nagtitiyak ako ng wastong paggamit ng gramatika sa pamamagitan ng patuloy na pag-aaral at pagsasaliksik sa diksyunaryo ay nahahasa na rin ang isip ko at upang mapagbuti ko pa ang paraan ng aking pakikipagtalastas sa iba sa paraang pasulat.

Sa pagmamaneho naman, gaya nga ng una kong nasabi, nakakaramdam ako ng fulfillment at saka satisfaction. Kasi di ako guilty na hinahayaan kong palipasin ang araw ng walang ginagawa. Kasi nakapaglingkod ako ng mahusay sa iba. Kasi nagawa ko ang dapat kong gawin bilang isang matino at matalinong drayber para sa mga pasaherong nakasakay sa multicab na minamaneho ko. Ayun.

Ano ang inspirasyon mo sa pagsusulat at pagmamaneho?

Tao ba ito? Si crush. Joke. Haha. Kidding aside. 

Siyempre, una si Lord. Kung di niya ako binigyan ng gantong mga pananaw sa buhay, saan pa ako huhugot ng inspirasyon? Sawa na akong parating binibigo ng tao.

Pangalawa ay yung oras at panahon ng kalakasan ko bilang isang binata. Ito ang panahon na kung saan kailangan ko linangin ang aking sarili (dulot ng mga bagay na ibinahagi sa akin ng pagsulat) at pagtibayin ang aking determinasyon sa buhay (sa mga bagay na ibinahagi sa akin ng pagmamaneho) [upang lalo pa akong maging responsable].

Pinapasalamatan ko din ang pamilya ko lalo na si tatay. Siyempre, kung di niya ako pinasinayaan, di ko masusundan ang kanyang yapak. Pero nais ko pa siyang lampasan. Sisikapin kong abutin ang mga pangarap ko sa tulong ng Diyos at sa gabay nila bilang mga magulang ko sa akin. Sampung taon na akong nabubuhay sa kalsada. Gusto kong mag-iba na ang daang tatahakin ko. Yung daan na patungo sa buhay na pinagpala at kaalwanan sa ilalim ng kalooban at biyaya ng Diyos.

Gusto ko pagdating ng panahon, titingnan ko na lang ang mga karanasang pinagdaanan ko noon sa hinaharap ang mga istoryang ito na naganap sa akin ay magiging isang magandang alaalang mananatili sa akin habangbuhay.

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What sparks your art in your writing?

It comes from the gift of observing. This is a major element that makes me mandated to speak out what I see and calls to be known, the reason behind every invisible thought that I will consider that can be a candidate to be transformed into a visible form.

I have found out that many people have failed in this aspect. And because of that, they fail to receive the benefit (actually, the gift) of observing. The ability to understand. Worse, they assuume, judge, criticize, and insinuate yet they haven't applied the term, "watch and learn." I want to avoid that. Through observing, it has given me the desire to record things whenever I have learned or discovered insights from every situation. I have one life, a unique life to live and wanted to make it count. Counted not on ignorance but on purpose.

On the other hand, I don't want to let the lessons I've learned in life stay in me. I want to let it be known to others. Through writing, I can share my life to those readers who will read it and they can glean from it as well. When I have learned something as I see and understand things, reflect on it deeply and relating it in myself, then, there's this inner leading that tugs my heart to write everything that I will discover, let's say ranging from God's word, life's important lessons, society, politics, lovelife, up to those people who shares their life to me which gives me an idea not to repeat the same mistakes that they've gone through in life.

When a certain thought pops up into my mind, I can't help but I'll be looking for a pen and a paper if I'm on an office desk, or if I don't have it, I get my phone and write it on the "notes" section, and if there's this leading that this must be communicated to others, the topic from it will be finalized.

I don't follow any guidelines, but I see to it that I always have the right grammar and the correct flow of ideas. I just write the realities that I see and the experiences that I feel. I believe that nothing beats the original experience, and I could extend the intensity and the gravity of it through the words that I write.

To be honest, I don't have that enough good skills how to write an award-winning essay or the guts to be a professional writer for if you'll gonna take a peek on what kind of environment I am presently exposed with, you'll say that I'm just a typical teenage boy that's innocent in doing such a thing like writing. 

I thank God that he has given me this ability to write things about life and I will always use it, not only to enlighten people's minds, persuade them in the things that I share, and express my sentiment to whatever issues our society is facing today but utilize the major purpose of it as well to share how good, faithful, and real my God is to my life. The latter is much very important than the former.

We belong to a generation where most of them don't want to read. As a form of art, I don't do it to get the applause of men. I do it because I am mandated to give suggestions that are beneficial to the intelligent mind where wisdom and knowledge and perspective flows out in my works which readless persons will never have the beauty and the radiance of it. Never.

What sparks your art in driving? (and how you can relate it as an artist).

Just to give you a background.

Growing up in my teenage years, driving a public utility vehicle, specifically a multicab, was an occupation my dad chose to enter because it was a work in which he can earn fast money to supplant our family's needs. Being at his side as his aide collecting the fares being a small boy back then, going with my dad was a worthwhile leisure for myself aside from studying. I witnessed how driving changed his views and perspective in life which I didn't understand at first.

Until I learned how to drive. Being the observant person that I am, I began to realize that driving in the streets is not really easy as what I've assumed to be. I realize that it is a special kind of work that belongs to a skill that only a transport driver can possess (in our route) in order for him to ply in the same route for 15 to 18 hours a day.

An attentive mind, a strong body, a heart full of patience and understanding (as in, a truckload of it haha), an awareness to drive carefully for the safety of the passengers, controllable speed limits, and a disciplined conduct. Never mind the smokes that they're breathing the whole day, the deprivation of getting adequate sleeps, losing a thousand peso for fuel, degradation of their dignity, long lines of traffic. All these work together to reach an everyday goal for a life of a driver: that is to have a good profit (kita).

Going back to the question, I came to this thought.

I have noticed that driving a public utility vehicle conveying the passengers at their destination is a form of giving service to others. A driver is a driver regardless of what your status is, what course you have finished, what sucesses you have attained, what kind of life do you have, as long as you are in front of the steering wheel, and you receive a pay to make you convey them to where they go, you are a driver.

You are a servant to those who pay your service. Servants push for no options and assume no rights. And I give to this serving environment the credits as to why I delighted myself to have a servant heart. Driving has trained and taught me so much about how I should serve others with a right heart without any hidden interest.

As I've established the idea that driving is a special skill and relate it to the meaning of art, since art is an expression, I do driving because I want to express my fervent desire to serve in a humble yet dignified manner, not only for the sake of profit which is a given reward for my labor, but by doing so makes my life fulfilling and significant in this other side of my world.