Dalawang Limang Sentimo

Nagmuni-muni ako sa mga nagdaang linggo. Nag-aalinlangan ako kung may kailangan pa ba akong idagdag kung nailabas na lahat ng saloobin, naiparating na lahat ng punto de bista at naipahayag na lahat ng pananaw. Ano pa bang dahilan para gawin pa ito? Napagtanto kong wala na ring saysay.

At wala na talagang saysay.

Kung hinayaan kong alipinin ako ng aking pagdududa at sarilinin na lang ito. Muntik ko nang ipaubaya ito sa kabisihan na siguradong mauuwi na lang sa kawalan.

Sa gitna ng sitwasyong ating hinaharap, sa impluwensiya ng ating mga nakikita't naririnig, sa mga pangyayaring kinulapulan ng tunggalian at nagresulta sa mga bagay na di inaasaha't ikinagimbal at inalmahan ng karamihan, meron pa bang silbi na humikayat at subukin ang kaisipan ng bawat matang babasa ng aking ilalatag?

At diyan pumasok ang pag-asa.

Pag-asa na hindi nagbabalita kung may bagyo o wala. Hindi yun iyon.

Pag-asa sa pinakadalisay nitong uri na siyang ginawa kong inspirasyon kaya ko itinuloy.

Pag-asang ang pinagmumulan ay hindi yung aking nakikita sa araw-araw na balita. Pag-asang di nanggaling at titigil lang sa pagkakaroon ng positibong pananaw. Pag-asang di kayang tumbasan ng salapi o ari-ariang pinanghahawakan. Pag-asang di kayang unawain ng mundong ginagalawan. Pag-asang di nakalagak sa mga taong maaari kong asahan. Pag-asang kapag binigyan ng pagkakataong maghari at mamayagpag, kahit subukan mang bitawan ay hindi pa din mang-iiwan.

Pag-asang aking pinaghugutan kaya naisulat itong nilalaman.

Kasi napansin ko, tulad ng Pag-ibig, binigyan na natin ng sariling kahulugan ang salitang ito dahil iminungkahi ito ng ating mga pinagdaanan.

Namuni ko, kung ang lahat ng tao'y magkakaroon, di lang ng pag-asa kundi pag-asang dalisay, una sa Diyos, pangalawa sa sarili, at pangatlo, sa mga taong nakakasalamuha niya, siguro di na natin kailangang humantong dito.

Kaso, tayo mismo ang nagiging dahilan kaya ang kawalan ng pag-asa'y laganap at numunuot sa pinakamalalim na bahagi ng ating pananaw. Hindi ko masisisi dahil sa karanasan ng kabiguan nang ikaw ay umasa. Marahil lahat naman tayo ay umasa. Pinanghawakan at pinagtalunan ng diwang dala ng biyaya ng bawat umaga na ang bunga ang siyang maghihiwalay sa desisyong ginabayan ng katalinuhan o kahangalan. Umasang magiging maayos ang lahat. Umasang magbabago ang lahat. Umasa na kahit lubos nang nahihirapan ay di pa rin dumating ang inaasam. Umasang akala mo matatapos na, yun pala nadugtungan pa.

Umasang magiging kayo. Biro lang.

Umasang kung lahat ay mangyayari sa plano mo ay sasaya ka na.

At kung sasaliksikin mo ang pag-asang pinanggagalingan ng mga pwedeng makausap mo ay matutumbok mong hindi na ito nakaangkop sa tunay nitong kahulugan.

Ito ang Pag-asang di nagsasawang manghikayat araw-gabi sa atin na dumulog at makipagniig sa Kanya.

Kaso marami Siyang kakumpitensya. Mga araling kailangang aralin. Trabahong kailangang tapusin. Okasyong kailangang daluhan. Sarili na kailangang patunayan. Kayamanang kailangang ipunin. Diwa't pananaw na kailangang iparating. Mga kailangan na kailangang kailanganin.

At lahat ng iyan, nag-uunahan makaupo sa trono ng isipan mo at makapukaw sa puso mo.

Aminin mo man o hindi, nabigo mo din Siya nung panahong umasa Siya sa iyo. Ang kagandahan lang gayumpaman ay hindi Siya nagsasawa hanggang sa mga oras na binabasa mo ito na tugunan ang pag-asang ibinibigay niya sa iyo kahit di mo napapansin. Na magbago, manumbalik at manampalataya. Kasi ang pag-asa kalauna'y mauuwi sa pananampalataya. Pero ibang magandang usapan yun. Pero dito muna tayo sa pag-asa.

Lahat tayo dumadaan ngayon sa krisis. Pero may hinala ako. Hindi lahat ng taong makakalampas sa krisis na ito ay magbabago. Iyan ay kung di hahayaan ng tao na baguhin siya nang napakagandang pagkakataong nitong mailagak muli ang pag-asa ng kanyang buhay sa tunay nitong pinanggalingan.

Walang anumang bagay ang pwede pang iparis sa dakilang katauhan at pangalan na ibinigay sa silong ng langit at dapat kilanlin ng puso't isip ng tao. Siya'y si Hesus.

Simple lang ang nais kong iparating, kaibigan.

Kung ang pag-asa mo ay nakalagak sa kung sino ka o saan ka naroroon o sa kung anong kakayanan o pag-aaring meron ka, sa teknolohiya o progresong pinapakinabangan mo ngayon, o mga ideya't pananaw na meron ka na taliwas sa dalisay na kahulugang dapat ipahiwatig nito, mag-isip isip ka't siyasatin mo ang sarili mo.

Ang tunay na pag-asa ay tanging makakamtan lamang sa Kanya.

Pag-asang umasa muli sa panibagong bukas taglay ang katiyakang hindi kayang ibigay ng mundo at Siya lamang ang makapagbibigay.

Kay saya na hindi madaliin ang makipag-usap at makipagtalastasan bawat umaga sa Kanya na bumabalong ang Bukal ng Buhay na pinanggagalingan ng aking pag-asa.

Kay tatag tayuan ang pag-asang ito na siyang magtitindig kapag ang aking sarili'y makitang malubog sa dagat ng alinlangan.

Kay gandang asahan ang pag-asang ito na magiging angkla upang mapanatili ako sa naglalakihang hampas ng mga alon.*

Kay gandang karangalan na ang pag-asang ito ang pagmumulan ng kumpiyansang maging daluyan ng kasagutan sa sinumang hihingi ng paliwanag para ipahayag ang biyayang ito.**

Kay sarap tamasahin na ang pag-asang ito ay para sa iyo at sa akin. At sa pag-asa ding ito kong isinusuko ang anumang pag-alala't pangamba na nais ipukol nang mapandarayang mundo na ito sa isipan ko.

Kay gandang patunayan na ang pag-asang ito'y nakasandig sa di mapasubalingang kasiguraduhang kinilala ng kalangitan at saksi ang kalupaan.***

Kay sarap isipin na hindi ko kailangang kumapit sa pag-asa dahil ninais ng pag-asa na ilagay ako sa kanyang kamay at di niya hahayaang agawin ako ng sinuman o anupaman.****

At kung sakaling matapos na ito ay hindi na sana tayo bumalik sa dati.

Sa dating kalagayan na malayo sa kanya. Bagkus lalo pa sana mapaigting ang pagkakilala mo sa Kanya dahil nakilala mo na siya ng lubusan.

Bilang pagtatapos, nais ko lang ipabatid na gamitin mo ang napakagandang pagkakataong ito upang ibalik mo ang pag-asa mo sa Kanya. Sa Kanya na parating nag-aantay na katagpuin mo. Siya lang at ikaw.

Sa Kanya na iniwan ang kalangitan upang yakapin ang iyong karumihan at palitan ng kanyang katwiran. Sa Kanya na may hawak ng lahat. Sa Kanya ang ating pag-asa.

Kaakibat ng pag-asa na iyan ay ang kalayaang walang kapantay na galing sa Kanya. Na hindi mauuwi sa pang-aabuso't kataksilan bagkus sa lalo pang pagibig, pangangalaga at katapatan.

Tingnan mo kung anong nagagawa ng pag-asa.

Hindi mabubuo ang piso, libo, milyon, o bilyon kung kulang ng dalawang limang sentimo. Halagang kay liit pero hindi maitatatwa ang ambag na halaga. Hindi ko din mawari kung paano mo haharapin ang panahong ito kung wala ka ng sinasabi ko.

Nasa sa iyo ang pagtugon.

*Hebreo 6:19

**1 Pedro 3:15

*** Hebreo 7:19-27

****Juan 10:28

"Kung meron mang trahedya sa ating panahon sa kung bakit marahil ang iglesya ay nabigo sa partikular na henerasyong ito ay dahil hindi natin ibinigay ang katotohanan sa dalisay nitong paraan dahil kadalasa'y tayo'y nakikinabang sa pagkakait na ibigay ang kumpletong katotohanan." - Ravi Zacarias

Siyasatin mo, O Diyos ang puso ko upang maitama mo ang pagkukulang ko't maging kasangkapan ng katotohanan mo na maari kong ibahagi sa mundo. Amen.

The Completing Piece

"An intelligent man speaks when he has to say something. A wise man speaks when he has something to say."

Walking, commuting, and serving these past few weeks gave me the opportunity to contemplate about how God has orchestrated the way I have lived my life recently. During those naive moments of sitting or standing while my mind is thinking and reflecting, I started to appreciate the difference between the environment in which I have opened my eyes before and the influence where He has brought me now. I would be one of those who can attest to say that you cannot go with God and stay where you are at the same time.

I am just amazed on how He works in my life that when I always soak and dwell in His presence, it is always justified that a sanctified isolation (that becomes a unusual sequestration) brings you to a life of consecration with Him and in the point of intimacy He unravels a glimpse of His plans and purposes and leaves its response to me and how certainly, eventually, would affect my scope of influence. 

In my case, God has brought me into a journey where its not what I expect to be but I believe was His will for me.

Unimaginable risks that I took yet were safe in his blessed assurance, therefore faith is strengthened.

Tenacity that is forged in the hidden crucibles of life, therefore perseverance and endurance is produced.

Giving your life selflessly that is motivated from a one compelling reason. Love, as its main reason behind, becomes fortified.

I noticed how reticent I was to be assertive. How I chose to be hidden so that others will be seen. How I have offered myself voluntarily, generously, wholeheartedly and faithfully to a vocation (or calling) that doesn't give any chance of security and stability, in a mundane practical value.

How I have committed myself into commitments that would ask much of my time, talent and treasure even reaching to a point of living a life of obscurity. And I'm freakin' loving it. And I cannot imagine myself doing things other than what I'm doing today. Just recently, I would admit that at some point, posting in social media on what my day looked like would be a way of somewhat breaking my silence. But those things that I post are like a tip of an iceberg from the engagements and activities that I do due to the versatility that is maintained and sustained by God's grace.

But I'm not the focal point of this essay. What I would want to deliver (and I hope I may achieve it in the end) are the realizations I wanted to share from this life to affirm and validate other people's experiences (or relate to them in one point or another) and tell them that they're on the right track just in case there's someone out there who lives like the same way that I live.

As if I detached my conscious self to the subconscious, and reflected on the subconscious aspect of my life and how its experiences were enriched with divine orchestrations woven in tapestry with the life and the lives it shared and encountered. (Sorry for the psych jargon. Thanks to my sister. Hehe.) 

And that subconscious life that was a product of entrusting my life from a single intention to follow the Great Shepherd who is also the Great Writer who writes such story gives me lessons that are worth to learn and too good to be hoarded.

I know that this revelation in one time or another has been passing on your minds. But bear with me, I will just give emphasis on this point to serve as a reminder.

In my observation, I learned that life's happiness, purpose and its fulfillment cannot just be limitedly defined by what the eyes can see, what our senses could feel, or what ideas and notions are prevailing (but the opposite is what the world is always trying to pound in our smartphone screens and picture tubes).

I would say that the greatest things that can happen on one's life is always manifested in the hidden. Those intangible things that happens in the inside of us always provides and grants eternal, impactful results that makes us different from the world. And the joy of discovering what it is and savoring the process that it entails for one's life is a glory given for the discoverer.

The following may be one of the big things most of the people would expect to receive.

It might be a breakthrough of healing for a loved one. It might be a soul that's more stronger than ever. Or a relationship that has been restored. Or a granting of life to a medically challenged body. Or a provision for a certain need. Or a deal that has to be closed. Or goals that are already reached. Or accomplishments that are attained. Or secret desires that are fulfilled. To others, it may be stability of heart and mind to do things decisively. Or it may be an acceptance of a loss of a loved one. Or comfort in the midst of grief. Or a shelter from an exposed environment. Or a discovery of their capacity and capability from an unexpected circumstance that happened. Fortitude that is unleashed.

It might be a strength and the courage to let go of what you are holding on. And move forward to a hope and an expectation that is already assured even if you don't see it yet.

Substance of life becomes more evident when one tries to assess what are those things that are valued by the heart that beats for conviction and principles that are not of the world. Being challenged by the ever-changing mind but firmly grasped by the heart that is divinely influenced.

A heart that says:

Its not how far you've gone. Sometimes, its about how close you've stayed. The proximity that you chose to stay regardless of the promising chances in exchange to a prize of great heights that can be reached and rewards that can give a remarkable fulfillment. That choice of fulfillment in contentment giving a unflinching resolve, unshakeable as it is, which displays strength in meekness, brings you to a course that is unpopular, adventurous and full of risks, but satisfying and fulfilling in its depths.

The contending to uphold those things that are not seen is the evidence of a life transformed from a life of independence to interdependence as opposed to a mundane expectation.

People are sometimes desperate to pursue the next big thing where in fact in God's eyes it has been transpired already but failed to appreciate it. Fail to realize that the big thing is not determined on the external. Its most of the time made in the internal.

Not only determined by the results but also in the process.

And when this understanding becomes embedded in one's consciousness, one's perspective changes, and the meaning of life becomes profound in this world where superficialities and hollowness is prevalent.

And when purpose is divinely anchored to the Giver of Life Himself, life becomes not one's possession anymore.

You now start to make a difference by being different. Different in a sense that you don't settle for anything that's not worthwhile.

Oh, that we may commit our lives daily to Him, to Jesus who's faithful to journey with us in the process. And I love the fact that as he takes care of what's happening behind the scenes, the program (or the story I must say) is always subject to change without prior notice. Those changes are the intangibles that pervades and penetrates the innermost depths of one's heart. 

I'll give some examples of an intangible thing that describes its evidence. 

The gap that bridges the intention to live this life for Him and the obedience that entails sacrifice most of the time is built from a personal encounter with Him. 

You cannot have a personal, intimate encounter with Him and not become radical for Him afterwards.

You'll have your own too. As this new year unfolds before our eyes, begin to discover what are the changes God has transpired in the inside of you, repent from what you have failed to appreciate, and be amazed on how He will bring you into a journey that makes you more fulfilled than ever because your life in the inside of you is valuable to Him and eventually become Christlike.

The simplicity of appreciating greatly those things God is making behind the scenes cannot be equalled from the pursuit of man showing themselves off from unreasonable complexities.

To wrap this up, let me finish this with a verse that substantiates the things that I mentioned above. 

"We view our slight, short-lived troubles in the light of eternity. We see our difficulties as the substance that produces for us an eternal, weighty glory far beyond all comparison because we don’t focus our attention on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but the unseen realm is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:18

I pray that let this be the completing piece for those who feel a missing puzzle in your life.

P.S. If you love (the Source of) Life, (the Source of) Life will love you back.

For This Cause

I write this piece as a way of honoring all the people I have met in the body of Christ whose life and manner of living have devoted themselves to be a servant.

And when I say being a servant, I give two remarkable classifications.

First, in a general sense, would be people who have prioritize others needs before putting their own first. To them who have chosen to have an audience of One. To them who's assigned in the impossible things and brings them into execution.  

Second, in a personal sense, would be people whose faces are unseen who are working behind the scenes. To them who have discovered and understood that they have a spiritual gift flowing so strongly in the ministry of helps. To them whom have chosen to make service a lifestyle and a vocation, and everyone that does the dirty work faithfully. To them who lifts up others by giving their all out support to make a certain goal of the one they're serving at turn into a success and lastly, to them who have realized their fulfillment in being a great contributor making great things done.  

You are one of the few people who have greatly considered the words of Christ when he said that to be the greatest in the Kingdom, you have to be a servant of all.

If you identify yourself with one of these, this is for you.

I just want to encourage you that you are valuable and precious in the sight of God. What you are doing in His church (not just the building, but to the Christian community, to the called out ones) is very vital and essential in making things work. God has provided those abilities, talents and capacities in the inside of you for a purpose. The reason why He made you that way is so that you can become a supply if there's a need, regardless of its demands.

Yes I know that people would take you for granted at times but God wouldn't. Situations and circumstances are inevitable and this might give you unnecessary pressure and insatiable demands especially with people. But you don't make it as a motivation for you to move and give help. You do it out of a great concern from a heart of love and compassion that you don't want them to be heavily burdened.

Your capabilities do really match the need of the hour. You have the supply that is always fit to fill the gap and is crucial to make it or break it. You wouldn't settle for anything less than the best. People can talk and suggest so many things, but you have that specific capability to turn things into action.

I just want to remind you that you don't have to compare yourself or even your progress to others. I know that you have understand so deeply that you don't need to prove yourself knowing that you know your worth. Your success is defined by how you have put your heart in everything you do that's why excellence is given. Your keen sense of discernment has granted you this realization. People compliment for what is impressive but not on what's important. You do not pursue the former knowing that your sense of responsibility keeps you focus on doing the latter. That's why you make sure what's important is being taken cared of.

The validation of what you are doing doesn't come from the presence of man's appreciation. And you are not disheartened nor discouraged even in its absence. You are guided by principles that are rooted on skillful and godly wisdom that only God provides.

And whenever you come to a point in life when you feel that nothing sees you and the efforts that you do, please, brush that feeling off. Be reminded that the Greater One sees you. He sees your hard work and your heart. He's molding your character and attitude so that when God raises you up, as patience makes it perfect work, you become complete lacking nothing and deserve that promotion that He solely gives. You also know that you are not doing things for the sake of promotion but you are just responding to be an answer to other people's need. You are accountable to God knowing that you offer unto Him every service that you render to people.

Take every opportunity to learn from other people's mistakes especially with the people who rules over you. The proximity that you have with the people you serve gives you a privilege to learn from them, and discard what is unnecessary if you see something in them.

How amazing it is that you focus on those things that are unseen by many but being seen by you. For many people have focused on the things that are seen and it fades quickly (being brief and fleeting). And you chose not to set your eyes at it knowing that where you have chosen to fix your eyes are those things that will last forever.

As you proceed with your life, never think that you are forgotten. Think of those moments when you are at the verge of giving up and quit, His fresh revelation restores your heart to be pure and right and brings you back to the reason why you have started in the first place.

You have witnessed it, time and time again, God has never failed your expectation. More than that, he's always in the business of exceeding it.

Make no mistake about God choosing you as His partner in doing things. Life can never become richer and fuller without Him. He appoints but never disappoint.

The ultimate gain that you have acquired as you stay still in whatever is entrusted to you is a heart of faithfulness. That precious asset becomes richer and valuable as time passes by. Never trade it nor exchange it with something mundane and vague. Your dedication and devotion in the things that are entrusted to your care is a testament of that God-kind of faithfulness. Knowing that this heart of faithfulness eventually proceeds to a life of fruitfulness.

Word of Caution. Do not ever think that you can do all things by your strength and effort. It will drain and drift you when you always consider it as your source. Never isolate yourself with people knowing that your gift is always connected in how you utilize it for the benefit of the people you bless. And one of the greatest evidences that you have grown enough is through the consistent acknowledgment of the Spirit of God empowering you to do what needs to be done. Small or great, you know that this drill stays the same. Understand that you are sufficient in the sufficiency that comes from Christ.

You might sense that kind of guilt whenever you identify yourself with Martha in every sermon when it is sometimes picked. That can only occur if you permit things overwhelm you and find that being a Mary is irrelevant. In everything that you do, pursue to always have a heart of Mary so you can manage to balance when you need to have a mind of Martha.

Following Christ in this kind of expression and endeavor is indeed a privilege knowing that only a few people respond to this kind of call. But don't be disappointed. Our God is the one who calls and invites people and petitions to the hearts of men to follow this kind of pursuit.

Do not impose your views on your brethren just because they don't see what you see and they don't have what you have. At the same time, don't let others insinuate their views on you just because they cannot do what you can do and they don't have the heart that you have. Exercise that heart of patience and understanding for them who don't get it yet. Do not worry for God will make it revealed for them. For you perfectly know that revelation precedes realization and after that, application.

To whom much is given, much is required. You only operate in the parameters of what was given to you. And when opportunity necessitates you to do all things (for it will surely come), do it all will joy knowing that His grace and strength is abounding and able to give you an extraordinary supply from heaven. It's worth the effort. It's worth the hardship. It's worth the sacrifice.

At the end of the day, we are all accountable on our own actions to Him who sees everything, and when we see that what we did out of a grateful response for His goodness results successfully, the fulfillment that it gives cannot be traded for anything else.

For you know and realized for fact that whatever that is being done in the flesh (relying on one's own strength, willpower, and ability) is always deemed futile and doesn't touch God's heart. For real, it’s surreal.

To a grateful servant, a life devoted to the unseen things worth doing finds its source of direction from every intimate moments with His Master, receiving.

And the greatest promotion that you can go from being a servant is becoming the friend of the Master.

And being His friend is way better.

For the servant doesn't know what His Master is doing but having an intimacy that comes from your relationship with Jesus Christ, He tells us what God's will is and the action that corresponds with it as he treats us as his friend. That level of relationship with Him elevates us from a higher plane of perspective and willing to do everything to please Him just as how you want to please your earthly friend.

And that leaves something to the people you serve. In a personal setting, there are burdens that are lightened, souls that are touched, minds that are inspired, and hearts that are being taught. 

In a general setting, there are learnings that are imparted, witnesses that are influenced and generations that are impacted.

Life becomes purposive and meaningful when our greatest aim in life in everything that we do brings joy to the heart of the Father and hear him saying at the end of the day and when our life ends,

Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your lord. :)

Special thanks to: The Great Commission Project/ New Life Network & Missions - Evangelism and Outreaches Department
Photo credits to: Maria Jansep of NL Tacloban.

Taken at Borongan Provincial Capitol Gym, Eastern Samar.
 March 15, 2019

Remember God

The wisest person who lived on earth has left us such interesting remark after he realized that life is vain and futile when God is not recognized. Solomon, as he progressed in life, came to a point that he depended on the wisdom that he acquired and exchanged it from the One who lives as its true source. As much as he tried in His utmost to find life’s value in the things that He’s doing under the sun to fill what’s lacking in His heart, he spent so many years only to know and prove that the answer he’s looking for was elusive. 

Such remark gives us two things. First is confession. As he reached his old age and pleasure and desire has left him, how he wished that he never drifted away from the purpose as to why he was born and why God has given him the wisdom to know and understand things. That he never let the things that caught his eyes caught his heart as well. That his reverence and acknowledgement that He has given to God while he was young is something that he also brought in himself when he became advanced in years. While he was living in the pedestal of wealth, wisdom, power, riches and fame along with his strength, vigor and intellect, there lies in the inside of his soul, an empty, unsatisfied longing heart. A heart that was damaged by the cares of this world as he pursued his value on the things that he attained and accomplished under the sun and not to the One who gave the significance of his life throughout his years. He almost forgot to look up as he focused his eyes looking across the motions and the cycles of life and looking down on the fate where man’s ultimate end is.

Yet in the mask of such confession, he subtly leaves a beautiful reminder to us who will have the time to read and learn not to follow what he did. Which brings us to our second point that is consolation. That even though it may seem that his findings will make one depressed and discouraged, he confirmed a single mandate that will help us find comfort and purpose while we are having our mundane experiences here on earth. It is to remember God. The call of doing it now indicates a sense of urgency. Solomon knew that man has a tendency to be occupied with so many things and forget God and it places a big gap in man’s walk with Him in his lifetime. Yet God in his justice and mercy gives man time to acknowledge Him and come to terms with Him. Man will always be exasperated in his vulnerability to his exposure to frustrations and struggles, or be arrogant in his capability to have success and victory. But it is a great advantage that when we, in every moment of our lives, chose to acknowledge and be engaged with Him, will define the source of our purpose not under, but above the sun. We cannot afford to live our lives apart from Him. It was not too late for Solomon to do this in the latter years of his life as he realized that there is still hope to regain his true purpose that was removed by his vain pursuit.

God is always there, waiting to allow Him to fill the void in our hearts and letting Him be a part of our living existence. And how blessed we are today that we cannot only remember God but we can also have an access with Him through receiving Jesus.

His endeavor to see life’s value apart from God was not absolutely worthless. In his quest to know what life’s value is all about, his discovery has given us an instruction to contemplate it in our lives today. If you think that who you are, what you do, and where you at is something you consider as the most valuable thing in your life, think again. The true value in this life lies in remembering God.

“Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, before the difficult days come,

And the years draw near when you say, ‘I have no pleasure in them.’”
Ecclesiastes 12:1

Life

My sister and I are talking as we are traveling back home after attending a young adults gathering from our church. We rode into a utility vehicle and sat on the utmost end of the seat. As we are moving, my sister is scrolling her smartphone and she blurted out about those people who took suicide last week.

To my curiosity, I asked her what their backgrounds were. She told me that these people are rich and famous at the same time, well-known and are talented in doing their line of expertise.

We are continuously exchanging our personal viewpoints about how did these people made suicide a way of escapism for them.

After all that we discussed, we agreed on a fact that we’re grateful enough to realize that inspite of what we have experienced before and what we will be going through in our lives in the future, we will never consider it as an option.

That the upbringing that we had gives the credit to our parents who are God-fearing and instilled to us the importance of living a life that is dependent on God. And we cannot imagine our lives if we live it apart from Him. Grateful enough also to say that we have a family and great (but few close) friends that we can be honest to talk to. Aside from them, there’s this Higher Being that we believe we can talk to, someone Whom we can cast our burdens, someone Who can listen, and someone Who can penetrate the anxieties of our hearts when we’re down and frustrated at times.

And only in Him, we have Life.

A life that may not be perfect but a life worth living for. A Life that may not be extravagant but a life well-lived for. A life that may seem so unfair but not defeated. A life by this world’s definition would be success, fame, riches and possessions, but by God’s definition, is found in His Son.

In the middle of these realizations, my sister is talking simultaneously with her best friend on messenger having same discussions about depression. Then, as she let me read their conversation, I found out that he had tendencies of suicide back then.

After reading all of those exchanges of messages, I told my sister to send him this following sentences.

“Whoever has the Son has life. Whoever does not have the Son does not have life.”

It added the emphasis on what my sister and I talking about and said to her that where else can a man find life apart from Him? After a few minutes, her friend replied with a smiling face with it.

Oh, how foolish and deceiving it is for a man to define this life alone on what an individual does, attains, achieves and what it is happening, moving, and passing under the sun. Yet in the end, he will still find himself empty and void.

Where in fact, life will have its meaning when it is connected above it where Someone lives and is desperately wanting to reside and live in the inside of us. And our life will never lose its significance when it is anchored to the One who gives life in this ocean of reality when lived apart from Him counts to vanity.

This is only attainable in having a personal and experiential relationship with Jesus.

And His Spirit of truth (as part of the benefits of having Him) never wavers throughout the ages to let this simple truth occur in the minds and the hearts of every individual when situations and circumstances come in whatever state all of us could be whether it may be high or low, happy or sad, success or failure, fruitfulness or barrenness, fullness or lack that I myself am privileged to receive to serve as a reminder in this generation.

And it is this.

There is only God-sized vacuum in our lives that only He can fill. Not success, not fame, not achievements, nor riches, nor worldly fulfillment, nor anything.

Not even death.

6/8/2018

Behind the Front Seats.

And at that moment again, there was this silence.

The silence that superseded the voice where the driver tuned in the radio inside the car. The silence that made my ears appreciate the quietness it brings that even the voice from the smartphone guiding the driver about where he’ll drop me off became imperturbable. The silence that made me observe for a while as I was heading home bringing gifts and stuff from a blessed friend and settle myself on the back seat at that fast and hassle-free travel.

And what amazed me during that moment was, I tried to observe what I did and the discoveries, (well, revelation through affirmations, I could say) that were unfolded in my mind (starting from a moment of reflection on so many things, identified it, and progressed eventually into an evidence of the manifestation of something that has been presaged in me some time ago).

It was a silence that made my soul to be still, not because I’m obliged to, but was chosen, given that I’ll be receiving something again in that time of quietude. And I wasn’t wrong. My anticipation paved the way for its transpiration.

I was awestruck.

As my eyes have seen the speedometer’s gauge pointing at 120 kilometers per hour and shifted to the road that we are traversing and the vehicles that are moving as the driver overtakes and swiftly passes by. My eyes have acknowledged a picture which turned out to be a glimpse of the events in my life that God has fulfilled in the course of time. A glimpse that has presented a proof of determining the essence of what life is all about. A glimpse that showcases the grandiosity and the fullness of God’s power and His goodness working evidently in every single event that transpired in my life. A glimpse that tells the smooth path that I’ll continue to journey in the days and years to come. A glimpse that shows a demonstration.

That the blessed life which I am living now makes this life great. Not because things, events, money or anything had made it great, but because I have a great God.

And from that glimpse, words of affirmation began to resonate in the inside of me.

My Son, continue to move forward.

Not only for the sake of reaching the final goal

But also for the reason of experiencing this life that you offered to live for me that,

as you’ve seen its simplicity you have found its beauty.

That is to become like Me and be like Me to those people who needs Me.

You’ll have a long way to go. Yes. I know that.

But the fact that you are passing on the right lane

And I’m guiding you with the right directions makes Me confident

That you will reach without delay your appointed destination.

Others may think that the route that you are passing through to them

is somewhat tedious and boring.

But actually the way that I’m showing you is the only way to reach it faster.

I am confident that you know where and when you need to slow down.

I will see to it that you will enjoy your journey.

Not because you earned it or you worked for it. But because you deserve it.

If back then, you are the one who’s teaching along the way,

this time you’ll enjoy learning more. Actually, you’ve learned a lot already.

But there are things that I want you to unlearn

That you may learn the things that I want you to learn.

Fix your eyes on me.

Not because I’m only commanding you but I want to protect you.

From anything that will entice you to look on those worthless things.

I know the frailty of your heart, and even if you’ll miss the mark,

I am committed to bring your eyes back to me and revive you in My Word.

Sit back, lean, and relax.

You don’t need to worry about anything. Everything’s got covered.

And I want you to rest and enjoy its benefits. And from that place of rest,

you will find increase. And from that increase, you can give more and bless others.

You just need to rest first. Like what you did there inside the car and to its driver.

Oh, I long to let My Presence always go with you.

For that will be the source of your soul to continually

respond to the insatiable demands of life.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Be assured that I will be your companion wherever you go.

And if we need to go, we’ll go. If we need to stop, we’ll stop.

I will be your strength when you are weak. I will be your courage when you’re in fear.

I will resurrect to life the things that you thought were incontestably dead a long time ago.

I will never ever leave you, nor forsake you. Because you have known me, I have called you to do great exploits.

I wish I could put those glimpses in a recorder and watch it again on a big screen for others to see but I thought its best to save it first in a special place in my heart. Who knows? God can bring someone who can collaborate and share with me someday the joy of experiencing more of His promises and leave us astounded.

Well, I entrust it to my faith that has this trip that’s more powerful than me.

I have personally enjoyed the experience to take that vehicle service that night. (Because I need to wake up tomorrow to serve for a Sunday service). A privilege to sit at the back behind the front seats. Knowing that I am also driving for someone and always used to commute and hang myself to those utility vehicles that I’m riding while I travel, I can say that that was one of the pleasurable rides that I had indeed. An honorable seat where a flashback has been played for me to see to set an atmosphere of expectation of God’s moving in my life in the days and years to come.

As we are nearly approaching the place where he will drop me off, I looked in my paper bag something I could give to him to appreciate his effort to drive for me on a new year’s eve. As he pulled over his car at the unloading zone, my senses are gradually returning back to its sanity. I placed something at the passenger’s seat and spoke my greetings.

I was very grateful to my friend to call for that vehicle service and arrived at home early than I expected if I’ll be commuting. And I have appreciated more the fact why I enjoyed the vehicle’s service that night.

It was already paid.

And as I stepped out of the car bringing all the stuff that I have and pushed the door to close, the moment of silence suddenly vanished.

----
A coincident sequel of the essay "Behind the Steering Wheel" dated January 5, 2015 written also in this blog.

Usapang Mesa.

It was Tuesday night and I arrived in our house, tired and hungry because of a whole day’s worthwhile activity. Habang naghahanda ako ng hapunan, dumating si Mama mula sa Bible school at inimbita kong kumain kasama ko.

After 10 minutes, my sister Abby arrived as well, and also my father who’s removing his shoes outside as both of them came from a Christian seminar from Bacoor Government Center.

Tas nagbihis si Papa ng damit pambahay. Inaya ni Mama na sumalo siya sa amin kumain, at umupo siya sa tabi nito.

And I started to strike a conversation with my parents.

“Tsk, parang naninibago ako sa mga ginagawa ko ngayon. Mukhang kailangan kong mag-adjust.”

“Galing ka bang training niyan?”’, usisa ni Mama.

“Oo, ‘ma. May dalawa pa kong papapirmahan para matapos ko yung courtesy call ko sa mga officers. Pag nakapirma na sila, official na akong makapagsimula.”

“May ginagawa ba kayo doon?”

“Sa ngayon, wala kasi ayos pa naman yung mga helicopter nila, pero kapag kailangan nang check-up-in, saka sila huhugot ng mga trainee para tumulong depende sa workload. Since marami ding OJT dun ang mi-minsang naka-standby, plano ko kapag may driving sa church, mag-drive muna ako. Pag may mga araw na bakante ako pagkatapos ng klase, saka ako papasok para di sayang oras.”

Biglang nagsalita si Papa habang kumakain ng vegetable tocino na ayaw kong kainin, “Mapapagod ka ng husto niyan, Paul. Pano yung NTC mo?” 

“Pagsasabayin ko na lang. Ang kagandahan naman ay flexible ang oras ko dahil mahaba yung duration ng training. Wala akong hahabuling oras. Kailangan ma-manage ko ng husto yung oras ko sa ibang bagay.”

“Ganun na nga. Tiyagain mo na iyan. Open door na ni Lord iyang training mo at timing na nakapasok ka diyan. Ingatan mo lang yang katawan mo. Balansehin mo lang. Dapat magbawas ka na ng commitments mo.”

“Siyanga, Pa, paunti-unti. Kailangan ko nang makapahinga ng maaga para may laban ako kinabukasan. San pala kayo ni Abby galing niyan?”

“Diyan sa munisipyo, may inatenan kaming seminar. Ang ganda ng shi-nare nung faliciteyto, ano ba yun? Falici….”

“‘Facilitator. Tungkol saan yung shi-nare niya?’”, usisa ko. Nakinig kaming dalawa ni Mama.

“May tatlong tanong yung facilitator na nag-seminar sa amin, pero heto yung tanong na nag-stick sa akin na ipinasagot niya sa seminar. Sabi niya, ‘Kung dadating si Hesus sa harapan niyo ngayon at kausapin kayo, anong itatanong niyo o sasabihin niyo sa kanya?’ Pinakinggan ko yung sagot ni Abby, sabi niya, ‘Pa, tatanong ko kung bakit ganito ako mag-isip, ganito ang ugali ko, bakit ako yung pinili mo.’ Ngayon ko lang na-realize na ganun kababaw pa yung faith ni Abby sa mga ganong bagay.”

“Sa akin nga ‘pa, kanina medyo nadi-discourage ako habang nandun ako sa loob ng compound, para akong pinanghihinaan ng loob kasi parang back to square one ako uli.”

“Alam mo’ nak, ang kalaban, magbabato sa iyo ng thoughts of discouragement, pero tapatan mo siya ng salita ng Diyos. You declare the word of God.”

“Siyanga ‘tay kanina habang nandun ako nag-declare ako, ‘Thank you Lord that you do not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.’ Yung sound mind dun is the discipline para magpatuloy.”

“Tama iyan, ‘nak. Ideklara mo yung Word pag nakaka-encounter ka ng ganyang mga bagay. Yung tipong balisa ka tas di mo alam gagawin, say the Word. Heto kasi iyon eh, maraming tao ang may alam na may Diyos pero hindi nila nararanasan yung personal intimacy na dapat meron tayo sa kanya. Ako ‘nak, sa tagal ko nang pagiging Kristiyano, napatunayan ko mismo na hindi ako pinabayaan ng Diyos, naranasan ko yung intimacy ng aking relasyon sa kanya. 

Why do you experience yang mga bagay na iyan? Kasi it is an opportunity for you to know him deeper. Lumalalim pa ang pagkakakilala mo sa kanya and you are becoming more dependent on God. Marami kasing iba, kahit Kristiyano na, pag may problema saka lang lalapit pag may kailangan, pag na-solve na o natanggap na, sila na uli ang may kontrol ng buhay nila.

"Sa mga ganyang pagkakataon, you declare the Word and faith arises from your heart. You begin to learn na mag-depende din sa Holy Spirit. Tanungin mo ang Holy Spirit pag nababalisa ka, ‘Lord, ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin? Lord, ano po bang gusto niyong ipaunawa sa akin?’ And receive it and apply it. Para maranasan mo yung truth of God’s Word sa buhay mo pag isinabuhay mo kasi kapag pinatotoo mo iyan, powerful iyan, may impact iyan sa iba kapag shi-nare mo.”

Bigla akong nahimasmasan. Ani ko, “Oo nga no, ‘tay, bigla akong naliwanagan dun ha. So good to be reminded, Pa.” (Dahil I was thinking for the past few days how will I juggle my commitments and I’m a bit anxious and unsettled). Then I whispered a short prayer of repentance against self-sufficiency while he’s still exhorting. I was greatly reminded of those simple things and right there and then, I felt in myself that I retuned back on my track.

"Ganun kasi iyon anak ang advantage mo sa mundo pag kasama't kilala mo na ang Diyos. Nakikita mo yung mga bagay based on God's perspective. Kapag you have the wisdom that comes from God, it brings life, and light sa mga nakakarinig, leaving them encouraged. As you grow in God, madi-discern mo yung mga bagay na dapat mong maintindihan at malaman as you have this journey with God.

“Ganun pala yun no, Pa. Kaya nung nag-pray ako and I declared that verse, biglang umaliwalas yung ulap na maitim dun sa barracks at nawala yung parang veil sa isip ko.”

“Ayos iyan anak. You are growing more and more. Yan ang gusto kong matutunan niyo habang nandiyan kayo sa edad na iyan.”

Then I paused for a short while and ate a spoon full of rice and hot noodles while still pondering what my dad talked about. Then he continued.

“Balik tayo dun sa sharing kanina. Natuwa lang ako sa mga sagot nila. Pati sa sagot ni Abby. Pagkatapos nilang sumagot lahat, ako yung huling sumagot. Sabi ko, ‘Maganda yung lahat ng mga sagot niyo. Pero kung ako tatanungin, isa lang sasabihin ko.’

“Salamat Panginoon at pinili mo ako.” 

“Hindi niyo ba na-realize na sa dami-dami ng tao sa mundo, sa dami-dami ng mga taong busy sa labas at nagtatrabaho, kumakayod at nag-uubos ng oras sa iba’t ibang bagay, lahat tayo ay nandito sa lugar na ito para makinig at makatanggap ng buhay mula sa kanya? Na tinatanggap niyo yung napaka-importanteng bagay sa buhay na hindi natatanggap ng iba? At dahil pinili ka niya, mula sa kadiliman, inilipat ka niya sa kaliwanagan? Hindi ka niya pinili dahil mayaman ka o qualified ka. Pinili ka niya kasi may plano siya sa iyo. Gusto ka niyang bigyan ng buhay. At kay sarap pasalamatan ang ganoong pribilehiyo.”

“Natuwa ako dun eh, nagpapakanta si Abby dun sa praise and worship kahit na may ugali pa na dapat mabago sa kanya. Pero ayos lang yun, nasa proseso pa si Abby ng pagkaunawa.”

“Oo nga kuya, napaisip ako nun nung tinanong sa amin yun kanina”, ani ni Abby na nagsusukat ng bagong bigay na damit galing kay Tiya Buleng sa aming malaking salamin.

“Kaya nga pasalamatan niyo na pinili kayo ng Diyos, kasi yung mga bagay na tinanggap niyo simula nung na-Born Again tayo ay hindi kayang tumbasan ng pera. At habang lumalaki kayo, sa ganyang edad maigi nang nauunawaan niyo ang mga bagay na iyan”, ani ni Papa na matapos kumain ay tumayo sa upuan at pumunta sa sala.

Napansin kong tapos na din kami kumain pagkatapos ng maiksing usapan na iyon. I saw in my father’s eyes the joy of giving us that simple wisdom that encouraged me and Abby as well. 

At nang nanahimik na si Papa, nagpulasan kaming dalawa ni Mama sa mesa, dala ko ang kinainang pinggan, tinidor, at kutsara. :)