Ang Halaga.

Pinauna ko na sila Mama, Papa at mga kapatid ko. Nagpasya akong magpaiwan muna sa bahay at magpahinga dulot ng mahabang biyaheng iminaneho ko kahapon. Pero hindi apektado ng pagod ko ang mga masasayang ala-ala na nakuha ko kasama ang mga churchmates ko nung mga nagdaang araw.

Alas-otso trenta'y uno ng umaga.

Lumabas ako saglit ng bahay para magpa-load. Nakita ko si ate Ella na inaalalayan ang lakad ng kanyang apo, kapitbahay namin, at binati ako.

"Merry Christmas, Paul." 

Napatigil ako saglit at tumugon ako. "Merry Christmas din po." Nag-usap kami sa gitna ng daan.

Matapos kong bumati ay bumitaw siya ng ganitong mga kataga.

"Grabe Paul no, ang hirap ng pasko natin, wala tayong pera. Dito lang tayo sa atin."

"Ay wala nga po sila diyan, ako lang po naiwan mag-isa sa bahay, luluwas din po ako mamaya pa-Nueva Ecija", tugon ko.

"San kayo sa Nueva Ecija?"

"Sa Cabiao po."

"Alam mo Paul, may mga borders akong natulungan, mga tiga-riyan sa Cabiao, ang ganda na ng buhay nila, nagtiyaga lang sila, mahirap lang buhay nila noon, pinatira ko sila sa akin dati, nung nakatapos, nagpapasalamat sila kasi natulungan ko sila, lalo na yung isang engineer, nakatapos ng pag-aaral tas pumasa pa sa board exam, maayos na mga buhay ngayon, mga Enriquez ang apilyido, baka makita mo sila."

"Marahil po malapit sila kela lola. Mga Sigua, Palma, magkakatabi lang po yung mga yun. Maitanong ko po sa kanila pagdating ko po dun."

"Ah dun pala kayo magpapasko. May mga kamag-anak naman kayo sa States di ba, nagpapadala naman sila sa inyo?"

"Ay opo, pero kapatid po ng nanay ni Mama iyon. Kela lola lang po muna kami tutuloy.

"Maigi pa kayo, buong pamilya kayo mag-pasko, ako dito lang kasama ni kuya Gerry mo, wala akong pera. Dati nagbibigay ako sa mga bata pag ganitong pasko ng bente-bente. Ngayon, Paul, wala talaga. Nanghinayang ako kasi nag-resign ako ng maaga, pero ayos na din yun kasi pagod na rin ako. Mag-antay pa ako ng tatlong taon para sa pension ko, 57 na ako ngayon. Hirap ng walang trabaho.

Nagpatuloy akong pakinggan ang salaysay niya. Kita ko sa mga mata niya ang pagkabalisa.

"Si kuya Gerry mo, na-delay yung alis kasi pina-rebook siya ng agency di pa siya makasakay ng barko, nag-aantay siya ng tawag. Si Iris naman, nasa Dubai, magkano lang sinusuweldo niya, katorse-mil lang, madalang pa magpadala sa amin kasi nagbabayad pa siya ng mga utang saka gastusin. Si Esa naman, ayan sa apo ko napupunta yung sweldo niya sa call center (na naglalaro sa harap namin kasama ng mga maliliit na bata ng iba pa naming kapitbahay) ang hirap naman umasa sa kanila. Ang lungkot ng pasko ko ngayon, Paul.

"Ate Ella, hindi malungkot ang pasko mo, nakita mo yung apo mo o, malusog saka walang sakit.

hindi ka ba masaya niyan, may mga bagay sa buhay na di kayang bilhin ng pera pero pwede mong ipagpasalamat."

(bigalang lumingid ang luha sa kanyang mga mata)

"Sa totoo lang Paul, nagtitiis na lang ako sa ganitong kalagayan, napapaiyak na lang ako kasi ang dami kong tinulungan noon, parang alang nakakaalala sa akin ngayon. Ang tindi ng hirap na nararanasan namin ngayon."

"Ate Ella, may awa ang Diyos. Panadalian lang lahat ng iyan. Huwag kang mawalan ng pag-asa. Gusto mo ipag-pray kita para gumaan iyang loob mo?"

"Sige."

At itinapal ko yung kamay ko sa balikat niya at kami'y nanalangin.

At sumambit kaming dalawa ng "Amen."

Pagmulat ng mata ko, lalo pa siyang umiyak at nagpunas ng luha na dumaan sa salamin niya.

"May awa ang Diyos, walang imposible sa kanya. Magtiwala ka lang ate Ella. Nakita mo naman si Mama ngayon, magaling na. Akala namin hindi na siya gagaling sa sakit niya noon. Yung tindi ng hirap ng buhay namin noon, akala namin hanggang doon na lang. Lahat yun binago ni Lord. Tandaan niyo po ito, ate Ella. Tapat ang Diyos. Hindi niya kailanman kakalimutan ang sinumang kumakapit sa kanya."

"Thank you Paul ha. Pasensya ka na, naiyak ako ng ganito." At pinupunasan niya pa din ang luha niya.

"Wala pong problema yun."

Nagpatuloy lang akong nakinig sa kanya.

"Alam mo Paul, naalala ka ng bayaw ko dati nung nandiyan kayo sa court ni Papa mo, nag-crusade kayo diyan dati, nung maliit ka pa nun nakita ka niya nagber-verse verse ka. Maloko yun dati, lasenggero.  Sabi niya nasan na yung bata dun sa inyo na nagbe-verse, 'in the beginning, when God created', ganun. Sabi nung bayaw ko nasan na si Andrew, yung nag-mememory verse sa atin dati? Sabi ko sa kanya, hinde. Si Paul yun. Alam mo nasa UK na siya, nakapangasawa siya ng born again tas may katungkulan yung asawa niya dun. Ano ba yung mataas na posisyon sa inyo sa born again?

"Pastor po?"

"Oo ayun, Pastor yung asawa niya na babae, nasa UK na sila kaso di ko na sila makontak ngayon, para makuha ko sa kanya yung hiniram niya sa akin.

"Maigi po yun. Nabago buhay niya nang nakaparinig siya ng Salita ng Diyos. Nawa makontak niyo po siya ule para maibalik niya yung hiniram niya kay kuya Gerry.

"pero Paul, thank you talaga, gumaan ang loob ko."

At bigla siyang tinawag ng isa naming kapitbahay dahil inalok siyang kumain ng orange. Magalang akong nagpaalam at pumunta sa tindahan.

Nagnilay ako at isang bagay ang naunawaan ko. Hindi matutumbasan ng anumang salapi at yaman sa mundo ang biyaya ng langit na inihain ng Diyos sa bawat tao. Pinatunayan ng puntong iyon ang tunay na kahalagahan ng may Kristo sa puso ko at sa pamilya ko sa paglipas ng panahon. 

Pagbalik ko sa bahay, kinuha ko yung gitara ko at kumanta ng awit ng pasasalamat sa Diyos.

This Is What I Saw.

Being aligned in His will makes you to think like He thinks.

Our loving God doesn't want us to live in ignorance.

Therefore, he wants all of us to be educated, not only informed, by what His Word says.

And this changes the rules and the laws that man has formed.

Our loving God also places desires that we will be directed to go through.

When the heart is ready, when the time has prepared, when the right season has come and the right people are provided, these desires can really be a reality.

God has arranged everything that we will do before it manifests beforehand.

God is always in the administration of placing people for His Kingdom for a specific time with distinct assignments that He has purposed them to do in a specific season and promote them unto another season when they are ready to embrace it. And all the more, those who grasp such realization in their time of their lives that the reason why they are in a particular season is to receive from God and be trained by His Spirit will get a tremendous benefit from it.

Daily experiences now becomes more interesting and exciting. Life becomes more bearable and conquerable as it is being founded by the leading of the Spirit of God and His Word.

You begin to prove things, you begin to see things in a different angle, faith becomes more strengthened, and life gives you a definition to live with a purpose.

God is liberal to give us the wisdom that we need. But all the more in getting wisdom, ask for understanding.

By that, as we go through in life, we can understand that God is preparing us for something more greater.

Greater than ourselves, than our dreams, than our imaginations.

(09/18/15)

Tawag Ng Lansangan.

Pare.

Oo, ikaw na mahilig magsulat ng mga bagay-bagay. 
Hayaan mong kunin ko muna ang atensyon mo at isulat mo itong mga bagay na mamumutawi sa boses ko.

May mahalaga lang akong mensahe sa iyo na tiyak kong makakapagpabagal panamantala ng pinapabilis mong takbo ng buhay mo.

At wag ka munang magtangkang magsalita ha.
Pasalitain mo muna ako.

Umaamba ka nang magsalita eh.
Alam kong napakadali mong kausap.

Ako muna please.

Okey. Handa ka na? Simulan na natin.

Tindi mo tsong. Sa totoo lang, ang dami mo talagang alam.
Pero habang tumatanda kang pasulong (sana hindi paurong), eh lalo mo pang napagtatantong marami ka pang dapat malaman. Na isang magandang indikasyon ng iyong paglago na dahil sa pagkaunawa mong ito'y nais mong alamin at unawain pa ang mga bagay na hindi mo pa nalalaman.

Alam mo pre, may tip ako sa iyo.

Sa buhay na ito, hindi mo kailangang magmadali.

Ang lakas mo daw makabente-sais, yung iba sabi, trenta.
Eh bente-uno ka palang naman.

Kung makadiskarte ka sa buhay, daig mo pa ang may asawa, e binata ka pa lang naman.

Kung makapayo ka sa iba, akala mo kung sinong pantas na matagal nang nabuhay sa mundong kinakukulapulan ng kamangmangan pero ang sarili mo'y palihim na humihiyaw para sa aking kaalaman.

Kung makahamon ka ng laban sa bawat pagsubok ng buhay, akala mo hindi ka tatablan. Pero ang totoo'y tuwing masabuyan ka ng alon ay nag-aalangan ka nang sumagwan.

Pambihira ka talaga.

Hindi mo naman kailangang madaliing ganapin ang mga bagay na nakatakdang maganap. Hindi rin naman pwedeng madaliin nila ang mga bagay na itinakda nang maganap sa Kanyang panahon. 

Ba't ka nila minamadali?

Huwag kang magmadali.

Hindi bale nang pulido. Basta sigurado.

Heto pa.

Huwag kang magsawang magtanong. Hindi iyon tanda ng pagiging mangmang. Kasi makakakuha ka dun ng tamang kasagutan sa tanong mo, payo man ito o aral, utos man ito o banayad na pakiusap. Kalakip ng paalalang iyan ang iyong pakikinig.

Brad, makinig ka ng buong husay.

Doon sumisibol ang mga bagay na maluwalhati kapag naunawaan mo't isinagawa ang mga bagay-bagay bunga ng iyong pakikinig. 

Oops. Hindi pa ako tapos. 
Bago ka magsalita, pag-isipan mo muna.
Kasi di mo na mababawi iyon kapag naibulalas mo na.

Hindi ko maitatanggi na nakakahalinang kainin ang maraming putaheng nakahanda sa harapan mo. Pero payo ko, sa pagkain mo, sa panahong dinadaanan mo ngayon, piliin mo yung isusubo mo, at pag kinain mo, huwag mo lunukin agad. Nguyain mo muna nang maitapon mo yung mga batong maaring sumama sa kinakain mo, nang hindi ka ma-impatso at makuha mo ang sustansiya ng kinakain mo. May kapangyarihan kang pumili. Gamitin mo ng tama iyan nang di mo iluwa kalaunan.

Alam kong sanay na sanay kang maghintay. Tuloy mo lang iyan. Habang nasa gitna ka ng paghihintay ay alalahanin mo ang mga bagay na ito nang di masayang ang oras na dumadaan habang naghihintay. Ito ang magandang panahon kung saan ay maaari kang magbistay.

Tinatawanan lang kita noon sa tuwing iisnabin mo ko at di mo naiisip na masangguni man lang ang mga gagawin mo. Pero dahil mukhang sinusuyo mo ako"t hinahanap ngayon tulad ng isang makinang na diyamante na walang kapara at hindi mo ipagpapalit sa ginto at pilak, hindi ka mabibigo sa paghahanap mo. Sing-tamis ng pulot-pukyutan ang akin nang ipinalasap sa mga taong ako'y nasumpungan at ginawa nilang kaibigan.

Anak ka talaga ng Tatay mo. Nang Tatay mong nasa itaas na iba talaga mag-isip at ang iba'y hindi malirip. Gayahin mo siya kung paano niya tignan ang buhay, at mag-iiba ang pananaw mo pag nagkaroon ka ng matang katulad sa kanya.

Ikintal mo parati sa kukote mo iyan. Kasi may tendensiya kang makalimot. Ngunit kapag dinili-dili mo't tumimo sa iyo iyang mga paalala ko sa panahong dinadaanan mo ngayon, tiyak may kalalagyan kang maganda.







Di ba nasa gitna ka ng isang paglalakbay? Huwag ka lang bumiyahe mag-isa. Isama mo ako sa plano mo pag bumiyahe ka. Ginagarantiya kong mas malaki ang bentahe mo pag kasama mo ako.

Ano bang plano mo? Kung yung plano mo ay makinig sa plano ko, magandang plano iyan.

Yung plano ko kasi ay hinulma na ng Tatay mo. Nariyan lang naman ang Tatay mo. Makakaagapay mo ako kapag hiningi mo ako sa Kanya.

Kaibigan, titigil muna ako dito.
Pero ituloy mong gawin 'tong mensahe ko. Tumono man itong parang payong pang-kanto, magiging handa ka, anuman ang iyong maengkwentro. 




Nagmamalasakit sa iyo,

Karunungan.

The Psalmist's Desire.

Sometimes, things just happen when you don't expect it the most.

After pondering those lines of verses*, I turned the pages of my Bible to Psalm 23. I read the whole chapter and read it again for the second time and finished it. I thought to myself that reading the chapter will be enough to make myself encouraged. All I thought was what I have understood before about the whole chapter all these years is all that I can get again at that moment.

But it became different this time.

I started to read the chapter again. But at this time, I spoke it.

"The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want."

Suddenly, I stopped. I was supposed to continue to read the following lines but something sparked in me at the second phrase that caught my attention. I was led to focus on the word "want" and revelation just kicked in.

Most of us have understood that this verse is always referred in the area of need. The term "want" in the Greek word is synonymous with "lack". No wonder why this verse is comprehended and utilized as a declaration of faith in that aspect. Well, David came out to declare this phrase because that is how he pictures God ministering to him and it was the type of his occupation as a young boy back then. Delving further, such revelation has led me to extract the verse which has shown me something interesting to be deciphered as I've read it on a different angle.

The dictionary in our house defines "want" as "lack" which I've expected to come out. And the second meaning simply means "desire". This time, we will equate "want" with the word "desire".

Have you ever came to a point wherein you have to choose between something you wanted to do and something you had to do (because it was just necessary)?** Many people are doing what they need to do. Others are inclined to do what they want. Accountable people set aside the things they want to do so they can do those things that are needed to do. It takes sacrifice to take such action to be applied in a particular situation but to make a response be a part of their everyday lives. Which is a good thing.

But only special people take the higher road. These are those people who have found what they want to do and pursue for it, unyielding to the present circumstances around them and not succumbing themselves to the pressure of the immediate knowing that as they follow their hearts (being led by God) in doing what they want to do, it brings full satisfaction in their lives which will be their ultimate. They figured it out that what they wanted to do can cover and follow what needs to be done.

And from that idea, I understand why David was tagged as a man after God's own heart. Because aside from the fact that he will be well-fed by his Shepherd, he had made himself desired to have God and his guidance and be content with it. Let me expound this further. 

As David embraced fully in His life that the Shepherd is all that He need, he convinced himself that he will never be in want. Of what? (Take note that we'll equate want with desire). 

Of the things that can deviate him from God and His guidance. One of the primary things the Shepherd does to the sheepfold is to guide them. And He appreciated it a lot.

As if He was saying, "You are my Shepherd. I shall not want anything but only You and what you do in my life. I shall not want anything but You and your utmost guidance. I am contented with that." And it speaks a picture of great intimacy. God's guidance is what David had desired. And for him, that was enough. Actually, more than enough.

He didn't made himself be moved by those things that other people think was necessary for Him to do. He just wanted to do what He desired. Take note of the account when the Israelites carried the Ark of the Covenant to his city from the house of Obed-Edom. No wonder when Michal, Saul's daughter, rebuked David as she saw him danced shamelessly (to the point that he uncovered himself) before the Ark, he just brushed her off.*** In the following passages, he justified his action to her as he wants to do it coming from his heart. For he yearned to follow his desire to respond to God rather than making himself conform with the necessities that other people expects, or much to say, demands him to do. What he wanted to do has led him eventually to do what's necessary.

He wanted the guidance of the Shepherd rather than the opportunities and the enticements that his circumstances and his environment demands to him. And the removal of the things that He wanted to have in this earth has been surpassed with the contentment that came from the result of desiring to be more intimate with God. And that settled him.

Truly indeed, making the Lord our Shepherd, we will not want anything that will remove us from His leading. We will not desire things that can distract us from being intimate with Him. We will not want anything but only His guidance. And that brings contentment in our lives.

As we have God, we will not want to be swayed by the mundane inclinations of this world for we yearn and long to live out His fullness in us. As we have His guidance we will not desire to be on the outside of His will. As we have His leading, we will not want ourselves to be frustrated and disappointed knowing that He feeds us hope and He will show us His way. And see our lives living in the eyes of faith.

No wonder why David became contented with His life. He never yearned anything of this world but only the guidance of God. This desire has brought him contentment which has given him the confidence and assurance to say that He will never be in want. And no wonder why he became so bold to continue to say the preceding verses.

To my surprise, I lately realized, I got stucked at the first verse for good. And from that, I came to this thought. We can appreciate and see the relevance of our God as a good Shepherd of our souls if we'll always want and desire Him to lead our lives. And God will always respond to that. As He guides us, he'll show us the necessary things that we need to do in life as we constantly desire and acknowledge Him, and let Him intervene, not only at some, but in all life's aspects.

Let me end with this statement. The verse doesn't limit itself to make it only referred to the area of need. It speaks as well of a resultant satisfaction and contentment that we can affirm in ourselves and we can have in Him as we fully say, believe, and understand the phrase in its another angle, and receive the benefits of how it is to be guided by the Great Shepherd.

*Philippians 4:19 & Matthew 6:25-34

**Excerpts from the short story "Dead Stars" authored by Paz Marquez Benitez taught by my college teacher. This is one of those good short stories I've liked when I was a college student back then. Credits to Ms. Kristina Malicdim.

***2 Samuel 6:1-23.

"Sinking In."

A simple yet relevant question was the only needed thing to just fully sink in to my senses the significance of the privilege of being a part of it down there, and understand the reason why I would want to be a part of it again, up here.

Three Sundays ago, my friends (which are my co-volunteers too) have received a variety of revelations, most of them brought their testimonies in our youth services, and delivered it in different perspectives. I'm proud to see them in front testifying God's goodness in us while we were there and how we experienced it from the outset until the end.

I entrusted to them to do the talking.

I settled myself to do the writing.

I assumed that I have nothing more to say because they have said it all. That was all I thought. Rest was a good thing to ponder at those moments (because we had an action-packed week with a series full of adventures, and all of us know what each of us had gone through).

But God.

In the middle of my reticent (and kinda-floating) mind, posed me a question which caught my attention.

"What is your pursuit?"

I took the question personally and asked myself again.

"What was indeed my real pursuit (at this thing)?"

To be honest, I was surprised not because it was surprising but I figured out lately that I have nothing to answer. So the quest to look for an answer started in my memory, hoping that I could find one.

I began to recall every moment that I can remember, scrutinizing all its finest details in order for me to find it and give meaning as to why it was a pleasure for me and the team to do what we've done and gave the things that we've given to make that conference transpired.

Then I remembered the time I went through the groups of teens that were led by Jon and Anna Curtis who made a street evangelism on the seaside of Balingasag.

As I captured and witness those youths who were ministering to those people and sharing God's love for them gave me a perspective to see a simple yet relevant answer to the question that was asked to me earlier.

The reason why that boy with His groupmates didn't budged themselves by the hesitancy at first of that old couple and they were bold enough to minister in that stone couch and led them to a prayer of salvation eventually falls at this motivation.

The reason why that girl was so eager to share to those kids who Jesus is and tells them why He doesn't want them to go to hell is being defined by this explanation.

The reason why that girl didn't felt absurd to pray that woman even though she's playing mahjong rests in this intuition.

After recalling those events, realization came to my senses.

I tried to relate it on every activities of the conference. In every worship rally, in those divided streams, in the motives behind the people who participated, in everything that influenced the audible and the visible, I saw one great reason that really mattered above all that have happened.

And the search came to an end. I found my answer.

I have learned the pursuit that returns me back to the motivation and answers the question why it will be a pleasure again for me to serve at this coming conference.

It is that every person in the duration of their lives should always long and live to be in communion with God.

For there is nothing more important in our lives from that and seek the meaning of it on something else.

Apart from Him, we are really, really nothing. But as we have Him, we have everything.

And from that, I've discovered something more.

In that pursuit, we became an answer, to be a demonstration, whether being seen by people or doing the work behind the scenes, to let that purpose come into transpiration.

Being surrounded with a cloud of witnesses, as carriers of what we have received from God manifested in different talents, abilities and capacities, we initiated ourselves to be vessels, to impart our lives that describes a life of having communion with God. Having that said, we ourselves became a living testimony of it.

It all points out on that single reason.

It's not only about making the conference to be felt down there.

It's not because it's an event that's expected to happen again up here.

It's about making Jesus and His presence to be felt, to instill to His church the awareness of His presence that will never be lost as it is being pursued always.

And from that experience will be birthed out this longing and desire to live with God and stand for God at all times. And let His divine plan have its work in their lives.

And as I relate that pursuit on the things that I have responded down there and the assignment that I'll be doing up here, it will be a joy for me to be a willing servant to do what I can do by the grace of God, and give help and support to let that pursuit come to pass as I play my part.

Sometimes, it's a good thing for us to go back at the point prior to why we do things.

For it reminds you of the purpose that deserves of your passion.

It gives you the right motivation and let that pursuit come into manifestation.

I was in the verge of forgetting it but thank God that His Spirit brings unto my remembrance the things that I should remember to have the right motive and the right heart. This has reminded me of something that really matters. More than that, it has delivered me from the tune of familiarity.

History is mostly written through the eyes of its witnesses. And this written account, is a history indeed, for it will always remind me of God's provision, strength, grace, and favor that He has given to me personally, and to my leaders and co-volunteers when we were down there and He'll be giving to all the people who will have their part as it will be happening up here in a few days.

Let me wrap this up with a question.

"What is your pursuit?"


-------------------


To God be the glory!

Au revoir.

#LifeConMindanao2015
#LifeConManila2015

-------------------

P.S. 

Create unto me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. :)

Beautiful Exchange.

Yes. This event had pleased the creator of heaven and earth.

The exchange wasn't just beautiful. It was actually divine.
Divine for there was a substitution that happened, not by chance, but by choice.

So that by the Son's effort, being driven by His unconditional love, the sin that caused separation could be removed and restore again an everlasting connection, a position where this creator, our God, has intended us to be.



Before facing the cross.

He obeyed the heaven's will to redeem us from our stubbornness.
He clothed himself with humility that we may live without pride.
He lowered himself down that He may lift us up.
He conquered fear that we may have courage.
He was emptied that we may be full.


While being nailed at the cross.

He was broken that we may become whole.
He was rejected so that we can be accepted.
He was despised that we may have our worth.
He received the punishment for our acquittal.
His payment for our penalty.
He endured pain for our relief.

He took our sickness to render us healing.

He experienced poverty so we might become rich.

And after He overcame the grave.

He has removed our defeat by His victory.

He has given His salvation for our damnation.

Through His word, He removed our uncertainties by giving us His assurance.

Granting us His success for our failures.

His death that we may savor not only life, but a good life.

He has redeemed our future with His past.

He labored it once and for all.

A once and for all effort so we can now live by grace.

And that grace ended an endless exhaustion of impressing God.

That we might not beg anymore of what we need in this life because Jesus has given it all.

Not only that.

Grace has also made an avenue. It opened an access.

What Jesus has exchanged for us describes the ultimate description of the glory of God that is available again to His people as the veil was torn.

An in order to receive the benefits of what Jesus has given, there's no other way but to trade ourselves to Him, the lover of our souls.

Because by saying Yes to Him, it will always please the Father.

That moment will never be just that beautiful. God will always remember it always as divine.

Divine, because of the result of the exchange, a substitution will be transpired, not by chance, but by your choice.

As you decide to walk in the Son's finished work, you can walk freely by God's grace. 



(4/6/2015)

Ang Huling Pagpasan

Nanawagan ako para sa hustisya.

Kanino ko ibabaling ang sisi?
Sa init ng araw?
Sa dami ng tao?
Sa tagal ng pag-andar?

Hindi naman siguro magiging katanggap-tanggap kung sa ganitong mga anggulo ko isisi.
Sa dedikasyon niya sa panata?
Sa kanyang katapatan?
Sa tindi ng pananampalataya niya?

Paano mabibigyang katarungan ang kanyang pagkamatay?
Sinong dapat managot?

Ang mga tao?
Na mas nakatuon ang atensyon na mahawakan ang poon kesa asikasuhin ang kalagayan niya?

Ang tradisyon?
Dahil sa pinagaling siya sa sakit kaya naman naging bahagi siya nito ulit?

Siya?
Na dahil sa kanyang kasigasigan ay di na inisip ang sarili na sa kasamaang-palad ay humantong sa pagkakakitil ng kanyang hininga?

Ang kanyang sariling desisyon?
Na dulot ng marubdob na paniniwala'y sinawing-palad at pumanaw na lang ng ganoon?

At lalo ko pang ikinababahala ay ang kanyang pinaroonan matapos siyang magcheck-out bigla sa mundong ibabaw.

Saan kaya siya napunta?
Sa langit kaya o sa impiyerno?
Iyan kasi ang nakasaad sa Bibliyang binabasa ko at binabasa din ng mga katoliko na pupuntahan lang ng tao.

Kasi kung may isang-daang porsiyentong makapagtitiyak sa akin na maganda ang kinalalagyan niya ngayon (batay sa pamantayang isinasaad sa Banal na Kasulatan [o Bibliya]), dito pa lang, tapos na ang usapang ito.

Kaso sa aking pagsasaliksik (kasabay ng pag-andar ng andas hanggang sa maipasok ang poon sa simbahan) ay wala akong makita, kaya nag-aagam-agam ako para sa kaligtasan ng kanyang kaluluwa.




Oo, mga kaibigan. Naghihinay-hinay ako kasi ayoko lumitaw na parang may pinapasaringan.
Uunahan ko na kayo. Wala po akong intensyong kumondena ng anumang paniniwala at nirerespeto ko ang anumang pinaniniwalaan ng bawat indibidwal.




Imulat lang sana natin ang ating mga mata. Buksan ang ating mga Bibliya. Unawain natin ang sinasabi ng Diyos sa atin at ano ba ang tama at dapat nating gawin upang makalapit tayo sa kanya. Para masuportahan iyan, sinasabi sa Juan 14:6,

"Ako (si Jesus) ang daan, ang katotohanan, at ang buhay. Walang makakapunta sa Ama kundi sa pamamagitan ko."

Papasimplehin ko na.
Rektahang paglapit sa Diyos sa pamamagitan ng Panginoong Hesus. Na hindi nanatiling pinapasan ang krus. Kundi isang personang buhay at napagtagumpayan ang lahat. At nais mamalagi sa atin kung siya'y tatanggapin.


Hindi ko alam kung ano ang istorya ng buhay niya.
Naghahanap lang ako ng hustisya para sa kanya at sa paniniwalang nagpalagot sa buhay niya.
At di malayo na susundan iyon ng mga iniwan niya.


Nakasaad din sa banal na aklat na sa pamamagitan ng kanyang biyaya (grasya), tayo ay naligtas, at di sa ating mga sariling gawa, upang walang sinumang maaring magmataas.

Hindi ko pinapatamaan ang mga taong nakiisa at sumama sa buwis-buhay na tradisyong bahagi ng papanampalataya ng relihiyong kinamulatan ng bayang ito. Ito kasi ang paraan ng pag-uugnay ng kanilang mga sarili sa diyos na pinaniniwalaan nila.

Para sa ikababatid ng makakabasa, isa ang tatay ko sa mga debotong sumasali sa prusisyong iyon taon-taon. Noon yun. Buti na lamang at siya'y inabot ng Diyos sa kanyang kalagayan, nabuksan ang kanyang mga mata, at nasumpungan ang liwanag.

Napapaisip lang ako.
Kung wala sa mga ito ang dapat managot, sino ang maaring sumagot?

Kasi kung wala, lilitaw siyang isang biktima.

Ang lahat ng bagay ay may dahilan. Ang kanyang pagkamatay ay may dahilan.
Isa na riyan ang dahilan para makapanghikayat ako sa henerasyong ito na magbasa-basa din ng Bibliya pag may time.

At masasabi ko mula sa isang patas at mapagpakumbabang pag-aanalisa na may hindi tama sa dahilan ng kanyang pagkawala. At kung anuman ang dahilang iyon, kayo na ang humusga.
Wala kasi ako sa posisyong gawin iyon.

Ibinibigay ko na ang paghatol sa henerasyong ito na kakunti lang ang nagbabasa.

At ikaw na mapalad na bumabasa nito, masumpungan mo kahit papaano ang tunay na katotohanan para makapag-analisa din, magbigay-kaliwanagan, at makapagpalaya sa iyo.




At kung naunawaan mo ang nais kong iparating sa likod ng mga pangungusap na ito sa paglipas ng panahon, sa Diyos ang papuri.

Iyon ang hudyat na dininig na ng mahabaging langit ang panawagan kong mabigyan ang nag-iisang namatay ng katarungan.




------------------------
Para sa malaman ang kabuuang istorya, bisitahin niyo ang link na ito:
http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/401043/news/metromanila/devotee-escorting-nazarene-image-dies-during-procession

Behind the Steering Wheel.

And at that moment, there was this silence.

The silence that overpowered the music that's playing inside the van. The silence that made my ears pause from its audibility that even the hum of a revved-up engine became unnoticeable. The silence that made my friends nap for a while that morning to endure the almost 89-kilometer part of that roadtrip.

And what fascinates me at the same time is, I try to see myself to observe what I'm doing at that particular moment and the thoughts that occupied my mind (as if I became separated from my body and watched myself from a close distance).

It was a silence that made my inmost being to be quiet, not because I wanted to, but was given, taken for I am expecting that I can get something in that state of reticence. And my expectation made an avenue for its manifestation.

I became speechless.

As my eyes have acknowledged its focus from the road that I'm looking at to the skies that I see above and the luscious green fields that I see in the side. My eyes have recognized a scene which turned out to be a picture in me. It was a picture that speaks of the reality that I realized that I must enter in this season of my life. A picture that speaks of the vastness of opportunities this life can offer. A picture that also expresses the wideness of thoughts that God has prepared for me. A scene that also tells that the road is laid out for me. A picture that conveys a message.

That the great things that I will be experiencing in this life are not behind of me but are in front of me.

And from that picture, it stirred up an affirmation inside of me.



I will press on.
Not only for the sake of just moving along but also for
the purpose of living this life for a greater cause that in
its extravagance had made me pause.
That is to know even better the Great Person behind
why the things that I've seen at that scene were created.

I have a long way to go. Yes.
But the fact that I am running on the right way and guided
by the right directions makes me assured that I am moving
forward towards my destination.

I will enjoy the journey.
Not only to fight the boredom that it inevitably brings but
because of the awareness that every moment in every travel
is meaningful and significant. Therefore, I don't have to be in a hurry.

I will never lose sight of what's in front of me.
Not only for the sake of its necessity but for the reason of destiny
which has been arranged beforehand and therefore I must align
myself and see myself going towards that direction and never
get off-tracked.

I will take this trip wisely. Not recklessly.
For it will not only save up my time and energy but protect me
as well from any move that can put me into jeopardy and end up
like that car accident that I saw as we are pacing along the way.

Oh, let Your presence go with me.
For it will be the sustenance of my soul to continually walk in
this demanding standards of life.
For there will be times that I have to maneuver it alone and
you will be my strength to withstand that I may neither slumber
nor sleep.
Not by my might, nor by my power, but by Your Spirit.
I will never be alone knowing that you will always be at my side.

I wish I've captured the scene that I saw with the camera that I borrowed but opportunity didn't gave me a chance. I guess it was destined to be so, for it is good for now that it will just be printed first in the deepest thoughts of my memory.

Who knows? Maybe someone can make that invisible image become a visible picture for me someday. Well, I entrust that to the fate that has this trip that's more powerful than me.

I personally enjoyed the privilege to drive the vehicle that day.

(Because I enjoyed a whole day sleep after that as I went back home).

It was an honor to sit in the front especially at the driver's seat. A humble seat which paved the way to see in advance the beauty of life that's waiting for me as it is revealed by the Maker of that beautiful scene that I saw.

As we are nearly approaching to the exit point, I saw the toll gate ahead. The van started to decelerate as I relieved my feet from tapping on the accelerator pedal. I have recognized the fact why doing it was necessary.

I have to pay.

And as I've shifted the gear knob from 5th gear to neutral and slowly tapped on the brakes,

the moment of silence quickly disappeared.